She does not need to be fixed.
A man greatly appreciates the home-improvement committee, as long as it is requested. Women
need to remember that unsolicited advice or criticism especially if he has made a mistake-make
him feel unloved and controlled. He needs her acceptance more than her advice, in order to
learn from his mistakes. When a man feels that a woman is not trying to improve him, he is
much more likely to ask for her feedback and advice.
Understanding these differences makes it easier to respect our partner's sensitivities and be
more supportive. In addition we recognize that when our partner resists us it is probably
because we have made a mistake in our timing or approach. Let's explore this in greater detail.
WHEN A WOMAN RESISTS A MAN'S SOLUTIONS
When a woman resists a man's solutions he feels his competence is being questioned. As a
result he feels mistrusted, unappreciated, and stops caring. His willingness to listen
understandably lessens.
By remembering that women are from Venus, a man at such times can instead understand why
she is resisting him. He can reflect and discover how he was probably offering solutions at a
time when she was needing empathy and nurturing.
21
Here are some brief examples of ways a man might mistakenly invalidate feelings and
perceptions or offer unwanted solutions. See if you can recognize why she would resist:
1. "You shouldn't worry so much."
2. "But that is not what I said."
3. "It's not such a big deal."
4. "OK, I'm sorry. Now can we just forget it."
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