A man wants his favorite Venusian to trust that be can handle what is bothering him. To be
trusted that he can handle his problems is very important to his honor, pride, and self-esteem.
Not worrying about him is difficult for her. Worrying for others is one way women express
their love and caring. It is a way of showing love. For a woman, being happy when the person
you love is upset just doesn't seem right. He certainly doesn't want her to be happy because he
is upset, but he does want her to be happy. He wants her to be happy so that he has one less
problem to worry about. In addition he wants her to be happy because it helps him to feel
loved by her. When a woman is happy and free from worry, it is easier for him to come out.
Ironically men show their love by not worrying. A man questions "How can you worry about
someone whom you admire and trust?" Men commonly support one another by saying phrases
such as "Don't worry, you can handle it" or "That's their problem, not yours" or "I'm sure it will
work out." Men support one another by not worrying or minimizing their troubles.
It took me years to understand that my wife actually wanted me to worry for her when she was
upset. Without this awareness of our different needs, I would minimize the importance of her
concerns. This only made her more upset.
When a man goes into his cave he is generally trying to solve a problem. If his mate is happy or
not needy at this time, then he has one less problem to solve before coming out. Knowing that
she is happy with him also gives him more strength to deal with his problem while in the cave.
Anything that distracts her or helps her to feel good will be helpful to him. These are some
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