examples:
Read a book
Call a girlfriend for a good chat
Listen to music
Write in a journal
Work in the garden
Go shopping
Exercise
Pray or meditate
Get a massage
Go for a walk
Have something delicious to eat
Take a bubble bath
Watch TV or a video
See a therapist
The Martians also recommended that the Venusians do something enjoyable. It was hard to
conceive of being happy when a friend was hurting, but the Venusians did find a way. Every
time their favorite Martian went into his cave, they would go shopping or out on some other
pleasing excursion. Venusians love to shop. My wife, Bonnie, sometimes uses this technique.
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When she sees I am in my cave, she goes shopping. I never feel like I have to apologize for my
Martian side. When she can take care of herself I feel OK taking care of myself and going into
my cave. She trusts that I will come back and be more loving.
She knows that when I go into my cave is not the right time to talk. When I begin showing
signs of interest in her, she recognizes that I am coming out of the cave, and it is then a time to
talk. Sometimes she will casually say, "When you feel like talking, I would like to spend some
time together. Would you let me know when?" In this way she can test the waters without
being pushy or demanding.
NOW TO COMMUNICATE SUPPORT TO A MARTIAN
Even when they are out of the cave men want to be trusted. They don't like unsolicited advice
or empathy. They need to prove themselves. Being able to accomplish things without the help
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