Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur

Love and Lady Bosses
“When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal
partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and
ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants
to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time,
nothing is sexier.”
– Sheryl Sandberg

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Romantic relationships can be tricky when you’re blazing your own
entrepreneurial trail. Becoming a successful and independent woman can be
off-putting to some men – but only to the ones who are insecure. When the
right man comes along, he will support and nurture you and take just as
much pride in your work as you do. Fortunately, I learned this lesson
eventually, but I spent the better portion of my twenties dating men who
didn’t exactly understand my desire to think outside the Tiffany box.
I’ll never forget when I told my boyfriend (at the time) that I was
writing my first book. Though my book Sparkle was just a sparkle in my
eye in my mid-twenties, I knew I would one day publish a book, and I was
very vocal about it. I had big plans and I was excited to share them with
those closest to me. One evening while out having drinks, one of our friends
said he had heard I was working on a book. My boyfriend immediately
rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself, mocking me. I will never forget the
pit-of-my-stomach feeling that swept over me in that moment. I was
mortified, I was humiliated, and I was more motivated than ever.
That moment was a turning point for me. I knew I could never be with
a man who did not get as excited about my dreams as I did. I knew I needed
to be with someone who respected my ambition, who wanted to see me
grow, and who wasn’t afraid to see me shine.
Fast forward to today and I am blessed with an amazing husband who
not only supports the work I do, he truly believes in it. He comes with me
on every business trip he can, he listens to all of my crazy ideas – he even
designs the interior of all my books (a huge bonus of marrying a former
magazine editor!) He not only supports me in business, he’s not afraid to
pitch in at home, either. He regularly does the dishes, does the laundry, and
food shops. And he’s even got his own awesome career. Believe me ladies,
as Sheryl Sandberg says in the quote above, these men do exist. And she is
right, nothing is sexier.
It took kissing quite a few toads and a lot of inner work on myself to
give up the bad boys and let go of the drama. But it’s been worth every
minute. When it comes to being a business-focused woman, there is
absolutely no reason to remain in a relationship that brings you down.
You’ve got big things to do, and dealing with crap from a man is not one of
them. If it means flying solo for a while, then so be it. If it means dating
around until you find someone who can roll with your lady boss punches,

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then that’s just fine too. Just promise yourself that you will never, ever
settle for anyone who does not fully support you and your dreams.