Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur

Go Where You Are Loved
“Once you’re public, you need a thick skin and a short memory. Even
Mother Theresa had haters.”
– My Fabulous Mom
So what happens during those times where it just seems like everything
is falling apart? When you’re experiencing haters, negativity, and it feels so
hard to stay focused and continue creating? As I say all the time, you’ve
just got to go where you are loved. Rather than focus on the people who
don’t support what you are doing, focus on the ones who do. Celebrate the
people who celebrate you.
If you’ve been in business for a while, I suggest creating a stash of
“love letters” from your clients. Collect empowering emails, messages, and
texts praising you for your work and print them out. You can even use client
testimonials that you feature on your website to promote your business. Put
everything in a pretty folder and keep it somewhere so that you can easily
access it whenever you need a little boost.
Or, if you’re just starting out or you don’t have your love letters yet,
write one to yourself! Create a beautiful, quiet environment, light a candle,
and go to town. If you feel stuck or awkward getting started, begin with a
list of all your positive qualities. Then, slowly weave it into a letter
addressed to yourself. Find fancy stationary or use a card, and hang it up

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near your desk so you can view it often. This may feel a little strange at
first, but it’s so important to celebrate yourself, and you need to get
comfortable with it. Sometimes we just can’t wait for others to do it for us,
so we’ve got to do it for ourselves.
GIRL CODE: Secret
Go where you are loved.
Insecurity Competes, Confidence Empowers
“When you feel copied, remember that people can only go where you have
already been, they have no idea where you are going next.”
– Liz Lange
Let’s face it. When you put your work out into the public, you risk
being copied. You risk other people using your words, your images, and
your branding. Each time I find myself in this situation, it begs the same
question: is imitation really the sincerest version of flattery? I’m going be
honest: to me, it sucks. It feels gross and it feels icky, and I don’t find it
flattering at all.
And I want to caveat this by pointing out that inspiration is different
than imitation. We’re all inspired by each other, and if someone feels my
brand has influenced theirs in a positive way, I think that’s great. However,
when someone is using exact verbiage, copying full paragraphs, sales copy,
original photos, passing off my quotes as their own, etc., that’s just not cool.
But in business, you have to invent, reinvent, and then reinvent again.
You have to deal with copycats all the time, and you have to learn to be
one-step ahead. In fact, if there is one major skill I tell all female
entrepreneurs to sharpen, it’s the ability to think on their perfectly-
pedicured toes. At the same time, if you allow yourself to be rocked to the
core every time someone tries to imitate your brand, then you shouldn’t be
in business either. You’ve truly got to choose your battles wisely and know
if – and when – to let the inner - firecracker out.
About a year or so ago, I noticed a certain businesswoman start to
change her branding to look a whole lot like mine. I had followed her for a

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few years and she was pretty consistent with her message and her brand.
But suddenly, she was using the same fonts, color schemes, even the same
vocabulary as me – and I’m not just talking about a word or two. I let it go
at first, but if I am honest, it did get to me. I worked so hard to develop my
own brand and am so in love with what I’ve created, that it felt like
someone had physically walked into my house and snatched up my most
prized possessions. I felt violated. I expressed my upset to my husband who
noticed her imitation, but tried to calm me down and let me know that I
should be focusing on bigger things. And he was totally right. But it still
pissed me off.
Weeks went on, and I tried to ignore this massive shift in her work and
write it off as a coincidence, but it became extremely apparent when others
approached me to tell me they noticed, too. You know the term “Bitch stole
my look?” That’s all that ran through my mind. Except this wasn’t a dress,
it was my livelihood.
Now, before I continue, I want to make something very clear. I wasn’t
annoyed with this woman because I don’t like her, or wish badly on her. In
fact, I wish her all the success in the world. I was actually hurt – and
extremely protective – over something that I worked so insanely hard to
build. And at the same time, I also kind of felt sad for her, if that makes
sense. I tried to come from a place of compassion and remind myself that
she obviously loved my work so much that she wanted hers to look like it.
She lacked her own creativity and her own ideas. So naturally, my mama
bear claws came out at first, but I really did try to view it with a level head
and put my ego aside. Which is why I became so conflicted on how to deal
with the situation.
Though I was feeling territorial and frustrated, what I did next
surprised even me. Rather than remain filled with anger and confusion, I
decided to empower her. I decided to support her and her message. To
genuinely like and comment on her posts that resonated with me. And to
send her love and light. I refused to carry around any negative feelings
toward this woman in my heart. I always say that insecurity competes and
confidence empowers. Why was I going to compete with this woman? I am
beyond confident in myself and my work. And I know that nobody can do
what I do, in the way that I do it. So I knew it was time for empowerment.
As my hubby reminded me, I had bigger things to do. And sitting around
seething over someone else’s actions is not the way I want to live my life.

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GIRL CODE: Secret
Insecurity competes, confidence empowers.
As The Universe would have it, the minute I started sending this
woman good energy, she naturally started going back to her original
branding. Her posts began to shift back to her old messaging, and she even
started using her old color scheme on her website. I seriously could not
believe it. To this day, I have no idea why she made that shift back at that
moment, but I know that it was the best possible thing that could have
happened to the both of us. I was no longer stressed out that someone was
imitating my branding, and she could learn to trust her own brilliance and
be her beautiful self. Remember, nobody can do it quite like you. Channel
your own authenticity, be the best damn version of yourself possible, and
forget about the rest.
GIRL CODE: Unlocked
Rachel Luna
Best Selling Author + Expert Business Confidence Coach
I met Rachel a few years back, and like most relationships forged online,
neither of us can remember exactly how we met. But we immediately
clicked, became fast virtual friends, and have been each other’s biggest
supporters for quite some time now. Whether inviting each other to
contribute to each other’s books or podcasts, Rachel and I have collaborated
on a few projects now, including our most recent live mastermind event in
New York City where we finally met for the first time in person. As
suspected, our bond became even stronger after meeting offline and sharing
a night of laughs, support, and a few too many glasses of Chardonnay
(okay, I’m probably speaking for myself on that last part).
I am so thrilled to include Rachel in Girl Code because both of us live and
breathe the philosophy that women are stronger when they stand together.
Rachel’s expertise with helping women gain confidence in their lives and
their businesses is powerful, so read up and get ready to get empowered!

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