Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur

What advice do you have to women who also want to start a business?
First of all, never give up. I started my journey with two large poster boards
covered front and back with quotes, notes, ideas from Pinterest and
magazine clippings. That was my “blueprint” for Sparkle and Shine
Darling. Just over a year later, sparkly chandeliers and glitter floors grace
my new haven. Those poster boards have become a reality! Along your
journey, don’t be afraid to ask questions. There’s always something new to
learn. Surround yourself with positive people who push you, challenge you
and believe in you, no matter how crazy your idea might seem to be. And,
above all, believe in yourself. You’re your own best cheerleader. There will
be plenty of people who will point out your flaws, so don’t become one of
them. Through it all, you have to feel good about the decisions you’re
making. Vibes speak louder than words, so follow your gut and don’t let
other people change your vision. Go into it wholeheartedly. Remember to
fall in love with yourself, your idea, your passion, over and over again.
You’re fabulous, darling!
Connect with Adrienne:
www.SparkleAndShineDarling.com
Instagram: 
@MrsAdrienneBosh
, 
@SparkleAndShineDarling
Twitter: 
@MrsAdrienneBosh
GIRL CODE: Extra Credit
How can you flip the script on failure and make it work for you? List three
failures you’ve experienced in your business and what they’ve taught you:

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GIRL CODE: Notes
MY BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FROM THIS CHAPTER:

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CHAPTER FIVE
Shake it Off:
Dealing with Haters, Copy Cats,
and the Peanut Gallery
“Why give it energy? I always have a moment of empathy. I think to
myself, man, they must really be going through something today. Ignore the
negativity and stay positive.”
– Lady Gaga
One of the surefire things that comes along with being successful is
criticism and haters. You just cannot expect to put yourself out there and not
experience it. If you haven’t had the pleasure of dealing with unwanted
feedback, then believe me when I tell you it’s coming. And it will shake
you to the core, rock your boat, and possibly even knock you off your pretty
pink cloud. But I’ve learned that these people exist for a reason. They are
often our biggest teachers. They teach us about patience and strength. And
they help us appreciate those who love us unconditionally, who support us,
and who never, ever correct our grammar (unless it’s really, really
wretched). In this chapter, I’m going to arm you with some killer strategies
to help you pull yourself up by the stilettos and deal with the peanut gallery
– no matter what they do or say.
Social media has given rude and opinionated people a playground to
critique others. They’ll pick apart your spelling errors, your grammar, your
personal style, your appearance, and your message – and they will do it
publically. They’ll judge you and they’ll do it without remorse. I’ve
experienced my fair share of it, and it’ s never pleasant. So what’s a boss

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lady to do when the peanut gallery is out in full force? To quote Taylor
Swift, you’ve just got to “shake it off,” doll.
I used to be very sensitive to this type of behavior. In fact, I could
receive ten positive comments and one negative one, and I’d spend hours –
sometimes days – obsessing. I couldn’t grasp why someone felt the need to
be so mean. Why didn’t they agree with my message? Why didn’t they get
me? And why did they think it was okay to pick me apart and do it on my
social media feed for all the world to see?
First of all, you’ve got to realize that anyone who would berate another
person is miserable. They are unhappy, they are insecure, and they are most
likely hurt in some way. This does not give them the right to torture you,
but hear me out: hurt people, hurt people. I can safely bet that if you’re
reading this book, you’ve never behaved this way, but many do. There are
so many people who are living their lives as victims, blaming the world for
their problems, and sometimes even blaming you! Does this mean you did
anything to them? Not at all. But sometimes we can piss someone off just
by being ourselves.
I want you to remember this word when dealing with these insecure
and unhappy people, otherwise known as “haters”: grace. By definition,
grace means “simple elegance or refinement of movement.” It took me a
long time to become a woman who handles challenges with grace. As I’ve
said earlier, I’m a Brooklyn girl. I’m tough and I’m edgy, and you know
that I was raised by an incredibly strong and powerful single mother who
taught me to never, ever take shit from anyone. So I’ve always been a bit of
a firecracker. The problem is, when you are constantly on the defense, you
can become hardened and reactive. You can easily come out swinging when
it’s not always necessary.
So how do we become graceful in our lives and our businesses? And is
it ever okay to channel our inner firecracker and leave our grace at the
door? Here’s the advice I give myself, and my clients – think first. Think
about how you want to react, think about how you want to feel afterward,
and know that you are in total control of your response. You don’t always
have to go on emotion. It’s okay to ignore the comments. It’s okay to
choose to let it go.
I used to be in a constant state of self-defense. I felt the need to have a
rebuttal for every negative comment and every dig. But I decided that 99%
of the time, it was a waste of my time and energy. Time I could spend doing

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productive things for myself and for my business. And guess what? If you
have to convince someone to like or understand you – chances are they’re
not worthy of you in the first place.
Of course there are times where my inner firecracker prevails and I feel
I need to clarify something or let someone know when they are getting out
of hand, but I’ve come to love the “block” and “delete” features on social
media platforms. And frankly, I’d rather push those buttons than allow
someone else to push mine.
GIRL CODE: Secret
When it comes to haters, grace wins.