Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur

Turning Your Envy Into Inspiration

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So what’s a gal boss to do when she finds herself experiencing these
very natural feelings of envy towards another successful woman? Simple!
The trick is in channeling those feelings and using them to fuel your own
fire. You’ve got to reframe your thinking and tell yourself, “If she can have
it, I can too.” You’ve got to shift your envy into inspiration. You’ve got to
know that you are responsible for bringing your own blessings into your
life. I keep referring back to the concept of limitless luxe because it holds so
much power. There is more than enough abundance in this world, and if
another woman has achieved a goal you want to achieve too, her success
should only prove to you that it’s totally possible.
Rather than secretly stalking the person you want to be, why not
befriend her? By reaching out to her, you immediately put yourself on her
level, removing any tension or thoughts that she’s better than you in some
way. Send her an email or leave her a positive comment on her social media
congratulating her on her accomplishment.
There is so much we can learn from each other. Nobody has everything
figured out. I can promise you that if you’re feeling envious of another
woman, there is another woman feeling envious of you. There’s a quote by
Kelly Clarkson that I love: “I wish I had a better metabolism. But someone
else probably wishes they could walk into a room and make friends with
everyone like I can. You always want what someone else has.”
If you learn to appreciate the women out there who are doing amazing
things, you open up a word of possibility for yourself. Stop wasting your
energy hating on another female, and instead, send her love. The moment
you do this, I can guarantee you will feel a shift in your bones that is almost
indescribable.
GIRL CODE: Secret
If she can have it, I can too.
I love dishing out compliments to women who are doing their thing.
And it doesn’t just have to be a woman in business. When I find myself
admiring a woman on the subway, or in the street, I make a point to
compliment her on whatever it is I’m admiring – her gorgeous hair, her
outfit, her purse, etc. By genuinely complimenting her, I immediately
disarm her – and me – and send positive energy out into the world. I take

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myself out of what could turn into a comparative downward spiral and I flip
the situation on its head.
It’s also important to think about why you’re envious of this woman.
We can learn a lot when we get to the root of our emotions. Imagine for a
moment that you’re feeling jealous of someone who just bought a house.
Maybe you don’t even want to buy a house yourself, but for some reason,
you cringed when you saw her post that photo on Facebook the day she
closed on her dream home. You’re perfectly happy in your apartment and
your focus is on other things, like traveling and growing your business. But
that damn photo stirred something up inside of you. So what the hell was it?
We often experience jealousy when we see someone moving forward in
her life, especially if we feel stuck in our own. We don’t even have to be on
the same path she’s on or share her same goals, but simply being reminded
that someone else is moving ahead and accomplishing things can strike a
nerve.
The next time you experience that feeling, try to understand the cause.
I can guarantee that as soon as you identify the real reason for your envious
feelings, you’ll feel lighter, clearer, and those emotions will evaporate.
Then, rather than stew in jealousy, congratulate her on her new home, and
soak up some of her good energy. Realize that if she can do big things, so
can you.
GIRL CODE: Extra Credit
Make a list of three women you’ve felt envious of (don’t worry, nobody has
to see your list!) Next to her name, write down a way you can reach out to
her to either ask her for advice or compliment her.