John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by


understanding that she is sick with the resentment flu and give her some extra love


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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

understanding that she is sick with the resentment flu and give her some extra love. 
 
Similarly, when a man is giving penalty points, a woman can realize that he has his own 
version of resentment flu. He needs some extra love so he can get better. As a result, he 
immediately gives her bonus points to even the score again. 
 
Through learning how to score big with a man, a woman has a new edge for supporting her 
man when he seems distant and hurt. Instead of doing little things for him (from the list: 101 


122 
Ways to Score Points with a Woman, page 79), which is what she would want, she can more 
successfully focus her energies in giving him what he wants (as listed in How Women Can 
Score Big with Men, page 90).
 
 
REMEMBERING OUR DIFFERENCES 
 
Both men and women can benefit greatly by remembering how differently we keep score. 
Improving a relationship takes no more energy than we are already expending and doesn't have 
to be terribly difficult. Relationships are exhausting until we learn how to direct our energies 
into the ways that our partner can fully appreciate. 


123 
Chapter 11 
 
How to Communicate 
Difficult Feelings 
 
When we are upset, disappointed, frustrated, or angry it is difficult to communicate lovingly. 
When negative emotions come up, we tend momentarily to lose our loving feelings of trust
caring, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, and respect. At such times, even with the best 
intentions, talking turns into fighting. In the heat of the moment, we do not remember how to 

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