Stretching is another way to understand a man's resistance to your requests. Whenever you ask
for more, he has to stretch himself. If he is not in shape, he can't do it. That is why you have to
prepare a man for step 3 by moving through steps 1 and 2.
In addition, you know that it is more difficult to stretch in the morning. Later in the day you
can stretch much farther and easier. When a man grumbles, just imagine that he is stretching in
157
the morning. Once he has finished stretching he will feel great. He just needs to grumble first.
The art of assertive asking is to remain silent after you have made a request. After you have
asked, expect him to moan, groan, scowl, growl, mumble, and grumble. I call the resistance men
have to responding to requests the grumbles. The more focused a man is at the time, the more
he will grumble. His grumbles have nothing to do with his willingness to support; they are a
symptom of how focused he is at the time when asked.
A woman will generally misinterpret a man's grumbles. She mistakenly assumes that he is
unwilling to fulfill her request. This is not the case. His grumbles are a sign that he is in the
process of considering her request. If he was not considering her request then he would very
calmly say no. When a man grumbles it is a good sign---he is trying to consider your request
versus his needs.
He will go through internal resistance at shifting his direction from what he's focusing on to
your request. Like opening a door with rusty hinges, the man will make unusual noises. By
ignoring his grumbles they quickly go away.
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
