and therefore I am not responding."
Now She Reacts to His Silence
Women misinterpret a man's silence. Depending on how she is feeling that day she may begin
to imagine the very worst-"He hates me, he doesn't love me, he is leaving me forever." This may
then trigger her deepest fear, which is "I am afraid that if he rejects me then I will never be
loved. I don't deserve to be loved."
When a man is silent it is easy for a woman to imagine the worst because the only times a
woman would be silent are when what she had to say would be hurtful or when she didn't
want to talk to a person because she didn't trust him anymore and wanted to have nothing to do
with hirn. No wonder women become insecure when a man suddenly becomes quiet!
When a woman listens to another woman, she will continue to reassure the speaker that she is
listening and that she cares. Instinctively when the speaker pauses the female listener will
reassure the speaker by making reassuring responses like "oh, uh-huh, hmmm, ah, ah-ha, or
humph."
Without these reassuring responses, a man's silence can be very threatening. Through
understanding a man's cave, women can learn to interpret a man's silence correctly, and to
respond to it.
Understanding the Cave
46
Women have a lot to learn about men before their relationships can be really fulfilling. They
need to learn that when a man is upset or stressed he will automatically stop talking and go to
his "cave" to work things out. They need to learn that no one is allowed in that cave, not even
the man's best friends. This was the way it was on Mars. Women should not become scared that
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