him to understand her feelings and let her move on to talk about more problems. If he is wise
and lust listens, then a few moments after she is complaining about him, she will change the
subject and talk about other problems as well.
Men also become particularly frustrated when a woman talks about problems that he can do
nothing about. For example, when a woman is stressed she could complain:
• "I'm not getting paid enough at work."
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• "MY Aunt Louise is getting sicker and sicker, each year she gets sicker."
• "Our house just isn't big enough."
• "This is such a dry season. When is it going to rain.
• "We are almost overdrawn in our bank account."
A woman might make any of the above comments as a way of expressing her worries,
disappointments, and frustrations. She may know that nothing more can be done to solve these
problems, but to find relief she still needs to talk about them. She feels supported if the
listener relates to her frustration and disappointment. She may, however, frustrate her mate
partner-unless he understands that she just needs to talk about it and then she will feet better.
Men also become impatient when women talk about problems in great detail. A man
mistakenly assumes that when a woman talks in great detail that all the details are necessary
for him to find a solution to her problem. He struggles to find their relevance and .becomes
impatient. Again he doesn't realize that she is looking not for a solution from him but for his
caring and understanding.
In addition, listening is difficult for a man because he mistakenly assumes there is a logical
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