Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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and writing. She also frequently argued points with the Blessed Prophet, a habit for 
which her father rebuked her, but which the Prophet responded to with gentleness. 
A'ishah said of her: 'Hafsah is the daughter of her father. She is strong-willed like him.' 
Perhaps in recognition of her strength of character, it was to Hafsah that the 
written text of the Holy Qur'an was given for safekeeping, and this was later 
recognised as the standard and authentic version against which all others were 
checked. 
The Blessed Prophet did not turn away from women who were strong or 
argumentative or full of character-women like Khadijah, A'ishah, Hafsah or Umm 
Salamah. In fact, he admired and loved them. The hadiths show that his wives were 
not disappointed, meek, downtrodden, shadowy, boring figures, there simply to do his 
bidding; on the contrary, his household was full of laughter, his women spoke up 
whenever they were upset about something (on their own behalf or on behalf of 
others), and their quarters sometimes rang with female outrage and arguments. The 
Blessed Prophet's friends were sometimes frankly amazed that he did not discipline his 
wives as they expected! 
Many new Muslims found this very perplexing, especially Hafsah's father Umar, 
who on occasion found the relaxed freedom granted to Muslim women difficult to accept. 
Umar said: 'By Allah, in the Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic age of ignorance) we did not pay 
attention to women until Allah revealed concerning them that which He revealed, and 
assigned for them that which He has assigned!' (Bukhari) 
'Once, when I was pondering a certain matter, my wife told me she wanted me to do 
such-and-such a thing. I asked her what it had to do with her. Whereupon she said: "How 
strange you are, son of al-Khattab! You don't want to be argued with, whereas your 
daughter Hafsah argues even with Allah's Messenger (P.B.U.H) so much that he remains 
angry for a full day!" 
Umar went round to check the unpalatable facts with his daughter. To his chagrin, 
he found that his wife had spoken the truth. Furious with Hafsah, he warned her never to do 
it again. Then he went to the house of another of the Blessed Prophet's wives Umm 
Salamah, who was also his relation, and spoke of it again. She, however, rounded on him 
and rebuked him: 
'O son of al-Khattab! It is astonishing that you interfere in everything! Now you even 
want to interfere between Allah's Messenger (P.B.U.H) and his wives!' (Bukhari) 
The Blessed Prophet's fifth female ‘apostle' was Zaynab bint Khuzaymah, a lady of 
outstanding piety and self-sacrifice, whose husband was martyred at Uhud, leaving her 
poverty-stricken. Even before her marriage she was called 'Umm al-Masakin,' the Mother of 
the Poor, for her generosity to the destitute. Once, when a poor man came to her house to 
ask for food, she had only flour enough for one meal, but gave it to him and went without 
herself. The Blessed Prophet deeply admired her, but tragically she died only a few months 
after their marriage. 
Umm Salamah (Hind bint al-Mughira) was the widow of his cousin Abu Salamah. She 
had four children, and was twenty-nine years old when he married her. At first she was 
reluctant to marry him, not because she did not like him, but because she had been deeply 
in love with her husband, was pregnant with his last child, and did not know how she would 
adjust to being a co-wife. She had already turned down both Abu Bakr and Umar, who had 
offered to take her in. 
The hadiths reveal her shyness; when the Blessed Prophet first used to visit her after 
their marriage, she used to pick up her baby daughter, and the Prophet (P.B.U.H) would 
leave her so that she could feed her. It took the persuasion of her foster-brother, who found 
out about this, to persuade her to be at ease with the Prophet. 
She was an intelligent woman and a good companion to the Prophet (P.B.U.H), and 
came to love him intensely. When he was dying, she prayed that God would take her or her 
whole family, if only He would spare him. 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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