Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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Children learn about love by seeing it, and they learn to give love by receiving it. 
Love cannot be bought. Neglectful parents may shower gifts upon their spouses and 
children, but to try to buy love only cheapens it. It is not gifts but your time, your energy 
and your love that are needed-giving, helping, serving, sharing. 
Watch out for that big person-replacer, the TV screen. TV watching and computer 
games can become an addiction which replaces doing and living with merely seeing-and 
most of that seeing is pretty rubbishy, especially mass-produced children's programmes! It 
also replaces talking together and playing together. In some cases, it even replaces 
communication while eating together! One day, you might switch the screen off, and find 
out that your whole family has changed, grown old, and maybe fallen apart. 
Never underestimate the bonding value of the family meal. Sufyan Al-Thawri said: 'I 
have heard that God and His angels bless a family that eats together.' 
All human beings need some recognition, to be accepted and approved, to feel that 
they belong. To get those things, of course, the individual must bear in mind the whole 
group to which he or she belongs, and to feel valuable, they must contribute to it. 
Children must learn to take responsibility, to belong to and support the family, and 
eventually do things for themselves so that they will be able in due course to support their 
parents and set up families for themselves. (Many of these matters are discussed in Sr. 
Ruqaiyyah's Living with Teenagers, For Heaven's Sake, The Challenge of Islam (for 
boys), and For Love of Islam (for girls).) 
Finally, the little `extra' touches can really lift up a humdrum relationship. The 
Blessed Prophet said: 'Even to put a morsel of food into your wife's mouth is a sadaqa' 
(Bukhari and Muslim). This indicates the kind of tenderness which should exist in a Muslim 
marriage. The squeeze, the arm around the shoulder, the touch of the hand, the pinch on 
the cheek, the little gifts that show you have thought about your wife during the day-these 
are the messengers that really get the message across. 
'There is no woman who removes something to replace it in its proper place with a 
view to tidying her husband's house, but that Allah records it as a virtue for her. Nor is there 
a man who walks with his wife hand in hand, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for him; 
and if he put his arm round her shoulder in love, his virtue is increased tenfold.' (Doi, 
Women in Shari'ah, 10) 
No husband or wife is ever perfect; but when a husband shows love and thought for 
his wife, and acts in accordance with the principles of Islam, he will surely earn not only her 
love and respect, but that of Allah Himself.