Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Children.
These should always be welcomed and wanted. It is irresponsible to bring 
into the world children who will be hurt because they are not wanted. This is one of the 
things you have to think most carefully about even before you get married, because it is 
all too easy to get pregnant very quickly, even on the wedding night, and your families may 
well put pressure on both of you to do this. See 'Contraception'; and also the texts by Silma 
Buckley and Dr. Alia Schleifer mentioned at the end of this book. 
Circumcision (khitan).
According to some madhhabs, this is not completely 
obligatory for adult male converts, but it is nevertheless a very strong Sunnah. An 
uncircumcised penis quickly accumulates smelly material under the foreskin, and medical 
studies have indicated a connection between failure to circumcise and cancer of this organ. 
'Female circumcision' of the type practiced by some people in Somalia, Egypt and 
some other African countries is not the same thing at all. If an adult woman chooses to be 
circumcised, perhaps for cosmetic reasons, that is up to her. However, to remove the 
clitoris of a girl child is almost the equivalent of removing a boy's penis, and is really a 
mutilation forbidden by Islam. 
Cleanliness.
This is one of the basic aspects of Islam, and has been likened to half 
the faith. (Hadith in Ibn Hanbal.) It is certainly vital to marriage. The Blessed Prophet 
recommended ten things as being part of the fitra: 'Cutting the hair close on the lips, 
letting the beard grow, using the miswak for the teeth, cleaning out the nose, paring the 
nails, washing out the base of the fingers, removal of the hair in the armpits and pubic 
areas, washing the affected parts after a call of nature, and the rinsing of the mouth.' 
(Muslim.) 
Some people need reminding of the obvious point of adab that not all of these 
cleansing activities should be done in public. People who have shaved off a large amount of 
hair in the bath or shower should remember that it can clog the drains. The Prophet's 
preferred method of disposal of hair-cuttings and nail-parings was burning or burial, since 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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