Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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It may be necessary to remark that men and women who have come to (or come 
back to) Islam from a promiscuous background should have an AIDS test before they get 
married. 
For some palliatives for AIDS in Islamic medicine, see Chishti, The Traditional 
Healer, 283-4. 
Anal Intercourse.
Some people find this gratifying, although most women do not, 
and are grateful that the Prophet (~) spoke out strongly against it. Abu Hurayrah reported 
that he said: 
'Do not approach women from the anus.' (Tirmidhi.) 'Allah will not look at the face of 
he who has committed sodomy with his wife.' (Ibn Majah) 
This practice still seems to be quite common in some societies, and is a very 
traumatic thing for a woman to be forced to submit to. It has been used as a method of 
contraception, of not spoiling a girl's virginity, or as a novel method of intercourse in a 
tighter 'channel' than the vagina. According to the Hanbali scholar Ibn al-Qayyim: 'It is the 
right of the wife that her husband should have natural sexual relations with her by 
committing sodomy he deprives her of her right, and also fails to satisfy her sexual desire... 
She was not created for this dirty act. Hence all those who avoid the natural course and 
indulge in unnatural means have ignored the wisdom of Allah and His Shari'ah.' (Ibn al-
Qayyim, Zad al-Ma'ad) Incidentally, it should be made clear than when the Prophet 
(P.B.U.H) sanctioned 'intercourse from behind,' he did not mean anal intercourse, but 
vaginal intercourse from behind. But there is nothing wrong with enjoying the areas nearby. 
Imam Zabidi says: 'To enjoy the back-side without entering the rectum is permissible, 
because with that exception, all parts of a woman's body may be enjoyed by the husband.' 
(Ithaf al-Sada al-Muttaqin, V, 331.) 
Arbitration (tahkim).
 In cases where the spouses seem unable to resolve a dispute, 
it is useful to put it to arbitration. The Holy Qur'an explains how this is to be done: 'If you 
fear a split between the two of them, then appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter 
from her family. If they wish for reconciliation, then Allah will reconcile them. For Allah was 
ever Knowing, Aware.' (4:35)