Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Wet Dreams
(ihtilam). These usually happen when people are sexually 
frustrated, and are a mechanism whereby the body seeks to discharge excess sexual energy 
or sperm. They can happen to either sex. Both A'ishah and Umm Salmah asked the Prophet 
(P.B.U.H) about this subject, and were told it was natural. Ghusl is of course required 
afterwards. 
White Lies.
The Blessed Prophet was realistic. He allowed telling untruths in two 
circumstances: 'falsehood spoken by a man to his wife in order to reconcile her, and 
falsehood spoken to set things right between people.'
Women's Orgasm.
According to Imam al-Ghazzali: 
'When he has come to his orgasm (inzal), he should wait for his wife until 
she comes to her orgasm likewise; for her climax may well come slowly If he 
arouses her desire, and then sits back from her, this will hurt her, and any 
disparity in their orgasms will certainly produce a sense of estrangement. A 
simultaneous orgasm will be the most delightful for her, especially since her 
husband will be distracted by his own orgasm from her, and she will not 
therefore be afflicted by shyness' (Ihya, II, 46). 
Selfish modern lovers would do well to consider the words of this great Imam, 
written nine hundred years ago! 
Imam al-Ghazzali was raising a very important point when he mentioned the wife's 
shyness if the husband was satisfying her after achieving his own inzal: it is only natural for 
the man immediately to lose all interest in sex and want to go off to sleep, so the poor wife 
feels that in order to claim her Islamic right she has to irritate him, and make him impatient 
with her. Once disturbing thoughts like these enter her head, it only delays her fulfillment 
even more, and perhaps prevents it altogether, thereby producing real psychological harm. 
For this reason, many couples prefer it if the woman is allowed to come to orgasm before 
the husband.