Personal Development for Smart People: The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth
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Personal Development for Smart People
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- — R. B U C K M I N S T E R F U L L E R
Contents Introduction "When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." — R. B U C K M I N S T E R F U L L E R 1 • Do y o u remember the exact m o m e n t y o u first became interested in personal development? I certainly do. It h a p p e n e d in January 1991 while I w a s sitting in a jail cell. I'd just been arrested for felony grand theft. This w a s n ' t my first run-in with the law, so I knew w a s in trouble. I was 19 years old. I began stealing shortly after moving to Berkeley, California, dur- ing my first semester at UC Berkeley. I didn't steal for m o n e y or to build a reputation—I stole for the thrill. I w a s addicted to the surge of adrenaline. The compulsion to steal was so strong that shoplifting w a s part of my routine, nothing more than my daily espresso. Usually I didn't care w h a t I stole; it was the act of stealing that seduced m e . On a typical outing, I'd lift a dozen candy bars and then drop t h e m off in a public place, figuring that other people w o u l d eat t h e m . I didn't eat the candy because I didn't think it was healthy. As I sat in jail for several days that January with nothing to do but w a l l o w in my o w n stupidity, the reality of my situation c a m e crashing d o w n upon m e . In high school I'd been a straight-A honors student, president of the math club, and captain of the Academic Decathlon t e a m . My future as a computer-science major looked unbelievably bright, but s o m e h o w I'd torn it to shreds. N o w I was expecting to spend the next year or t w o behind bars. ix PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT FOR SMART PEOPLE U p o n returning to my studio apartment after three days in jail, I received a letter from UC Berkeley informing me in no uncertain terms that I'd been expelled. Apparently schools do that sort of thing w h e n y o u don't bother showing up to classes and your grade point average starts with a decimal point. In that m o m e n t , I realized I had t w o basic options for h o w to deal with my situation: g r o w up or give up. During the next f e w months while waiting for my court date, I w a s in a total funk. M o s t days I slept until well past n o o n . I buried my- self in video games, sometimes for 18 hours at a time. ( W e ' r e talking single-player Nintendo games here, not massive multiplayer online games.) It's hard to feel motivated w h e n y o u ' r e expecting to go to jail for a while. Eventually I secured a lawyer and met with him at his office to discuss my situation. Before I could o p e n my m o u t h , he blurted out, " S t e v e , I've reviewed your case, a n d since this is your first offense, I'm pretty sure we can get it reduced to petty theft. If we plead no contest, you'll get off with a lesser conviction and end up with some c o m m u n i t y service. I'm on great terms with the district attorney, so I'm sure he'll go for it. I strongly advise against going to trial, as the evidence against y o u is o v e r w h e l m i n g , seeing as y o u w e r e caught r e d - h a n d e d . " Immediately my thoughts began to race. First offense? Is he de- luded? Why does he think this is my first offense? Doesn't he know about Download 1.6 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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