Shepherding a Child's Heart

The Importance of Godward Orientation
Biblical stories show that shaping influences are not the whole
story. Think of Joseph. His childhood experience was far from ideal.
His mother died while he was young. He was his father’s favorite. His
dreams inflamed his brothers’ hatred. He was further alienated from
them by his father’s gift of a coat that set him apart as their authority.
His brothers betrayed him. He was thrown into a pit. Opportunistic
slave traders bought him to profit from his resale value. He was
double-crossed in Potiphar’s house despite his honor and integrity. He
was imprisoned. Even there he was forsaken by those whom he had
helped. Here was a man you would expect to be bitter, cynical,
resentful, and angry. If man is only the sum total of influences that
shape him, that would have been the result. Instead, what do we find?

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When his brothers threw themselves on the ground, begging for
mercy, Joseph said to them, “‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of
God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to
accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So
then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And
he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50:19–21).
How do we explain Joseph? He had a lens through which he
viewed all the events of life. In the midst of difficult shaping
influences, he entrusted himself to God. God made him a man who
responded out of a living relationship with God. He loved God and
found his orientation not in the shaping influences of his life but in
the unfailing love and covenant mercies of God.
What about the servant girl to Naaman’s wife? Enemy soldiers
ripped her from her home in Israel and made her a house girl to an
Aramean soldier. She was part of the plunder of war. The shaping
influences in her life were far from ideal, yet she was faithful to
Jehovah. When her master needed healing, this young girl knew
God’s power, and what is more, she knew where the prophet was in
Israel. The King of Israel did not know the prophet or have deep faith
in the power of God. He responded to the emergency with fear and
unbelief (see 2 Kings 5:6–7). Why did this girl respond differently?
Clearly, there is more to the person than shaping influences. Here is a
girl who was given faith in Jehovah and retained it in spite of the
difficult circumstances in which she was reared.
Summary
This is the point. There are two issues that feed into the persons
your children become: 1) the shaping influences of life, and 2) their
Godward orientation. Therefore, your parenting must be addressed to
both of these issues. You must be concerned about how you structure
the shaping influences of life that are under your control (many things
are not, e.g. death, and so forth). Secondly, you must be actively

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shepherding the Godward orientation of your children. In all of this
you must pray that God will work in and around your efforts and the
responses of your children to make them people who know and honor
God.
Figures 2 and 3 will provide direction and orientation as you seek
to understand your task as parents. While you are concerned with
biblical shaping influences, you must also shepherd the hearts of your
children in the direction of knowing and serving God.
In the next chapter we will examine the foundational issues of
parenting. What does it mean for the parent to function as God’s
agent? What is the nature of your task? What is the function of
discipline and correction?