Shepherding a Child's Heart

Good Education
In my years as a school administrator, I have met scores of parents
whose goal for their children was a good education. These parents are
driven. They will work with Suzie for hours each night. They coach
and prod, they encourage and warn, they will stop at nothing to have
their child succeed. Their goal is seeing their child achieve academic
awards and scholarly recognition. They are persuaded that education
brings success. Unfortunately, scores of disillusioned and broken
people are thoroughly educated. It is possible to be well-educated and
still not understand life.
Control
Some parents have no noble goal at all; they simply want to
control their children. These parents want their children to mind, to
behave, to be good, to be nice. They remind their children of how
things were when they were youngsters. Frequently they employ the
“tried and true” methods of discipline—whatever their parents did
that seemed to work. They want children who are manageable. They
want them to do the right thing (whatever that is at the moment). The
bottom line is to control their kids. But the control is not directed
toward specific character development objectives. The concern is
personal convenience and public appearance.
The Biblical Warning Against Cultural Influence
Any student of the Old Testament knows that God was concerned
about Israel’s susceptibility to influence from the people of Canaan.
He commanded Israel to drive the nations out, to show no mercy. God
knew that if the people of Canaan lived alongside Israel, they would

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go astray.
Like Old Testament Israel, you too, are subject to the powerful
influence of your culture. Like Israel, you must reject things in the
culture that are abhorrent to Jehovah your God.
It is one thing to be painfully aware of unbiblical objectives such
as these we have sketched. It is another thing to embrace scriptural
objectives. There are so many areas in which children require
direction. What goal is broad enough and flexible enough to be
suitable to all stages of child development?
What general biblical objectives will guide and focus your view of
life and therefore your training of your children? What is a worthy
biblical goal? The familiar first question of the Shorter Catechism
answers these questions.
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.
Is there any other goal that is worthy? Are you willing to start here
with your children? You must equip your children to function in a
culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. If you teach them
to use their abilities, aptitudes, talents, and intelligence to make their
lives better, without reference to God, you turn them away from God.
If your objectives are anything other than “Man’s chief end is to
glorify God and enjoy him forever,” you teach your children to
function in the culture on its terms.
How do we do this? We pander to their desires and wishes. We
teach them to find their soul’s delight in going places and doing
things. We attempt to satisfy their lust for excitement. We fill their
young lives with distractions from God. We give them material things
and take delight in their delight in possessions. Then we hope that
somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is
found only in knowing and serving God.
In terms of Godward orientation, we are training them in the
idolatry of materialism. In fact, we even feed the idols. Years spent

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denying the importance of a deep conviction of scriptural truth will
not develop into godly piety during adolescence or early adulthood.
No wonder we lose our kids. We lose them because we fail to
think clearly about man’s chief end. The chief end of man is to glorify
God and enjoy him forever; therefore, your objective in every context
must be to set a biblical worldview before your children. From their
earliest days, they must be taught that they are creatures made in the
image of God—made for God. They must learn that they will only
“find themselves” as they find him. Your child must grow to see that
real living is experienced when he stands before God and says,
“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire
besides you” (Psalm 73:25). If this is what you want for your
children, then you must ensure that the content of everyday life fits
this objective.