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C H RO N O LO GY O F A PAT H O LO GY
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that
can be made in a very narrow field.
—niel s bohr ,
Danish physicist and Nobel Prize winner
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when
he was merely stupid.
— h e i n r ich h e i n e ,
German critic and poet
T
his book will teach you the precise principles I have used to
become the following:
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Princeton University guest lecturer in high-tech entrepre-
neurship
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First American in history to hold a Guinness World
Record in tango
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Advisor to more than 30 world-record holders in
professional
and Olympic sports
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Wired magazine’s “Greatest Self-Promoter of 2008”
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National Chinese kickboxing champion
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Horseback archer (yabusame) in Nikko, Japan
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Political asylum researcher and activist
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MTV breakdancer in Taiwan
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Hurling competitor in Ireland
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Actor on hit TV series in mainland China and Hong
Kong (Human Cargo)
How I got to this point is a tad less glamorous:
1977
Born 6 weeks premature and given a 10% chance of liv-
ing. I survive instead and grow so fat that I can’t roll onto my stom-
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