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Bog'liq
Ugly-Love

His heart.


chapter thirty-nine
MILES
I stand in the doorway of my bedroom and watch her sleep. She doesn’t
know it, but I do this every morning she’s here with me. She’s what
starts my day off right.
The first time I did this was the morning after I met her. I couldn’t
remember much from the night before. The only thing I remembered
was her. I was on the couch, and she was stroking my hair, whispering,
telling me to go to sleep. When I woke up in Corbin’s apartment the
next morning, I couldn’t get her out of my head. I thought she had been
a dream until I saw her purse in the living room.
I peeked inside her bedroom just to see if anyone was in the
apartment with me. What I felt the moment I laid eyes on her was
something I hadn’t felt since the moment I first laid eyes on Rachel.
I felt like I was floating. Her skin and her hair and her lips and the
way she looked like an angel while I stood there and watched her
brought back so many feelings that had become foreign to me over the
past six years.
I had gone so long refusing to allow myself to feel anything for
anyone.
Not that I could have controlled the feelings I was experiencing
toward Tate that day. I couldn’t control them if I’d wanted to.
I know, because I tried.


I tried like hell.
But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She
was either going to be the death of me . . . or she was going to be the
one who finally brought me back to life.
The only problem I had with that was the fact that I didn’t want to be
brought back to life. I was comfortable. Protecting myself from the
possibility of experiencing what I had experienced in the past was my
only priority. However, there were so many moments when I forgot
what my only priority was supposed to be.
When I finally caved and kissed her, that was the point at which
everything changed. I wanted so much more after experiencing that kiss
with her. I wanted her mouth and her body and her mind, and the only
reason I stopped was that I felt myself also wanting her heart. I was
good at lying to myself, though. Convincing myself that I was strong
enough to have her physically and no other way. I didn’t want to get
hurt again, and I sure as hell didn’t want to hurt her.
I did anyway, though. I hurt her so much. More than once. Now I
plan to spend a lifetime making it up to her.
I walk to my bed and sit on the edge of it. She feels the bed shift, and
she opens her eyes but not all the way. A hint of a smile plays on her lips
before she pulls the covers over her head and rolls over.
We officially began dating six months ago, and that’s been plenty
long enough for me to realize she’s not at all a morning person. I lean
forward and kiss the area of blanket covering up her ear.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I whisper.
She groans, so I lift the covers up and slide in behind her, wrapping
myself around her. Her groan eventually turns into a soft moan.
“Tate, you need to get up. We have a plane to catch.”
That gets her attention.


She rolls over cautiously and pulls the covers from over our heads.
“What the hell do you mean we have a plane to catch?”
I’m grinning, trying to contain my anticipation. “Get up, get dressed,
let’s go.”
She’s eyeing me suspiciously, which makes total sense, considering it’s
not even five o’clock in the morning yet. “I know you know how rare it
is for me to have an entire day off, so this better be worth it.”
I laugh and give her a quick kiss. “That all depends on our ability to
be punctual.” I stand up and pat the mattress several times with the
palms of my hands. “So get up, get up, get up.”
She laughs and throws the covers off of her completely. She scoots to
the edge of the bed, and I help her stand up. “It’s hard to stay irritated
with you when you’re this giddy, Miles.”
•••
We reach the lobby, and Cap is waiting at the elevator just as I asked
him to. He has her juice in a to-go cup and our breakfast. I love the
relationship they have. I was a little worried to reveal to Tate that I had
known Cap all my life. When I finally told her, she was irritated with
both of us. Mostly because she assumed Cap was telling me everything
she confessed to him.
I assured her Cap wouldn’t do that.
I know he wouldn’t, because Cap is one of the few people in this
world I trust.
He knew just the right things to say to me without appearing as
though he were lecturing me or giving me advice. He’d always say just
enough to make me think long and hard about my situation with Tate.
Luckily, he’s one of the few people who grow wiser with age. He knew
what he was doing with both of us all along.


“Morning, Tate,” he says to her, grinning from ear to ear. He holds
out his arm for her to take, and she looks back and forth between us.
“What’s going on?” she asks Cap as he begins to walk her toward the
lobby exit.
He smiles. “The boy is about to take me on my first-ever ride in an
airplane. I wanted you to come along, too.”
She tells him she doesn’t believe this is his first time in an airplane.
“It’s true,” he says. “Just ’cause I have the moniker don’t mean I’ve
ever been on a real plane.”
The look of appreciation she shoots me over her shoulder is enough
to declare this day one of my favorites, and it’s not even daylight yet.
•••
“You okay back there, Cap?” I say into the headset. He’s seated right
behind Tate, staring out his window. He gives me a thumbs-up but
doesn’t take his eyes off the window. The sun hasn’t even broken
through the clouds yet, and there’s not very much to see at this point.
We’ve only been in the plane ten minutes, but I’m pretty sure he’s just
as fascinated and mesmerized as I hoped he would be.
I return my attention to the controls until I reach optimal altitude,
and then I mute Cap’s headset. I glance at Tate, and she’s staring at me,
watching me with an appreciative smile spread across her lips.
“Want to know why we’re here?” I ask her.
She glances over her shoulder at Cap and then looks back at me.
“Because he’s never done this before.”
I shake my head, timing it just right. “Remember the day we were
driving back from your parents’ house after Thanksgiving?”
She nods, but her eyes are curious now.


“You asked what it was like to experience the sunrise from up here.
It’s not something that can be described, Tate.” I point out her window.
“You just have to experience it for yourself.”
She immediately turns and looks out her window. Her palms press
against the glass, and for five minutes straight, she doesn’t move a
muscle. She watches it the entire time, and I don’t know how, but I fall
even more in love with her in this moment.
When the sun has broken through the clouds and the airplane is
completely filled with sunlight, she finally turns back to face me. Her
eyes are filled with tears, and she doesn’t speak a word. She just reaches
for my hand and holds it.
•••
“Wait here,” I tell her. “I want to help Cap out first. A driver is taking
him back to the apartment, because you and I are going to breakfast
after this.”
She tells Cap good-bye and waits patiently in the plane as I help him
down the steps. He reaches into his pocket and hands me the boxes,
then flashes me one of his approving smiles. I shove the boxes into the
pocket of my jacket and turn back toward the steps.
“Hey, boy!” Cap yells, right before climbing into the car. I pause and
turn around to face him. He looks at the plane behind me. “Thank
you,” he says, waving his hand down the length of the plane. “For this.”
I nod, but he disappears inside the vehicle before I can tell him thank
you in return.
I climb back up the steps and into the plane. She’s unbuckling her
safety belt, getting prepared to exit the plane, but I slide back into my
seat.


She smiles at me warmly. “You’re incredible, Miles Mikel Archer.
And I have to say, you look pretty damn hot flying an airplane. We
should do this more often.”
She gives me a quick peck on the mouth and begins to get up out of
her seat.
I push her back down. “We’re not finished,” I say, turning and facing
her full on. I take her hands in mine and look down at them, inhaling
slowly, preparing to say everything she deserves to hear. “That day you
asked me about watching the sunrise?” I look her in the eyes again. “I
need to thank you for that. It was the first moment in more than six
years I felt like I wanted to love someone again.”
She blows out a quick breath with her smile and pulls in her bottom
lip to try to hide it. I lift a hand to her face and pull her lip out from
beneath her teeth with the pressure of my thumb. “I told you not to do
that. I love your smile almost as much as I love you.”
I lean forward to kiss her again, but I keep my eyes open so I can
make sure that I’m retrieving the black box first. When I have it in my
hand, I stop kissing her and pull away. Her eyes fall to the box and
immediately grow wide, moving back and forth between the box and my
face. Her hand comes up to her mouth, and she covers her gasp.
“Miles,” she says, continuing to trade glances between me and the
box in my hands.
I cut her off. “It’s not what you think,” I say, immediately opening the
box to reveal the key. “It’s kind of not what you think,” I hesitantly add.
Her eyes are wide and hopeful, and I’m relieved by her reaction. I
can tell by her smile that she wants this.
I pull the key out and flip her hand over, then place it in her palm.
She stares at the key for several seconds and looks back up at me.
“Tate,” I say, looking at her with hope. “Will you move in with me?”


She looks down at the key one more time, then says two words that
bring an immediate smile to my face.

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