The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Understand: The story of Nixon is closer to you and your reality
than you might like to imagine. Like Nixon, you have crafted a public
persona that accentuates your strengths and conceals your weaknesses.
Like him, you have repressed the less socially acceptable traits you
naturally possessed as a child. You have become terribly nice and
pleasant. And like him, you have a dark side, one that you are loath to
admit or examine. It contains your deepest insecurities, your secret
desires to hurt people, even those close to you, your fantasies of
revenge, your suspicions about others, your hunger for more attention
and power. This dark side haunts your dreams. It leaks out in
moments of inexplicable depression, unusual anxiety, touchy moods,
sudden neediness, and suspicious thoughts. It comes out in offhand
comments you later regret.
And sometimes, as with Nixon, it even leads to destructive behavior.
You will tend to blame circumstances or other people for these moods
and behavior, but they keep recurring because you are unaware of their
source. Depression and anxiety come from not being your complete
self, from always playing a role. It requires great energy to keep this
dark side at bay, but at times unpleasant behavior leaks out as a way to
release the inner tension.
Your task as a student of human nature is to recognize and examine
the dark side of your character. Once subjected to conscious scrutiny, it
loses its destructive power. If you can learn to detect the signs of it in
yourself (see the following sections for help on this), you can channel
this darker energy into productive activity. You can turn your
neediness and vulnerability into empathy. You can channel your
aggressive impulses into worthwhile causes and into your work. You
can admit your ambitions, your desires for power, and not act so
guiltily and stealthily. You can monitor your suspicious tendencies and
the projection of your own negative emotions onto others. You can see
that selfish and harmful impulses dwell within you as well, that you are
not as angelic or strong as you imagine. With this awareness will come
balance and greater tolerance for others.
It might seem that only those who project continual strength and
saintliness can become successful, but that is not at all the case. By
playing a role to such an extent, by straining to live up to ideals that are
not real, you will emit a phoniness that others pick up. Look at great
public figures such as Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill. They
possessed the ability to examine their flaws and mistakes and laugh at

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themselves. They came across as authentically human, and this was the
source of their charm. The tragedy of Nixon was that he had immense
political talent and intelligence; if only he had also possessed the
ability to look within and measure the darker sides to his character. It
is the tragedy that confronts us all to the extent that we remain in deep
denial.
This longing to commit a madness stays with us throughout our lives. Who
has not, when standing with someone by an abyss or high up on a tower,
had a sudden impulse to push the other over? And how is it that we hurt
those we love although we know that remorse will follow? Our whole being
is nothing but a fight against the dark forces within ourselves. To live is to
war with trolls in heart and soul. To write is to sit in judgment on oneself.
—Henrik Ibsen