The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

The empathic attitude: Empathy is more than anything a state
of mind, a different way of relating to others. The greatest danger you
face is your general assumption that you really understand people and
that you can quickly judge and categorize them. Instead, you must
begin with the assumption that you are ignorant and that you have
natural biases that will make you judge people incorrectly. The people
around you present a mask that suits their purposes. You mistake the
mask for reality. Let go of your tendency to make snap judgments.
Open your mind to seeing people in a new light. Do not assume that
you are similar or that they share your values. Each person you meet is
like an undiscovered country, with a very particular psychological
chemistry that you will carefully explore. You are more than ready to
be surprised by what you uncover. This flexible, open spirit is similar
to creative energy—a willingness to consider more possibilities and
options. In fact, developing your empathy will also improve your
creative powers.
The best place to begin this transformation in your attitude is in
your numerous daily conversations. Try reversing your normal impulse
to talk and give your opinion, desiring instead to hear the other
person’s point of view. You have tremendous curiosity in this direction.

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Cut off your incessant interior monologue as best you can. Give full
attention to the other. What matters here is the quality of your
listening, so that in the course of the conversation you can mirror back
to the other person things they said, or things that were left unsaid but
that you sensed. This will have a tremendous seductive effect.
As part of this attitude, you are giving people the same level of
indulgence that you give yourself. For instance, we all have a tendency
to do the following: When we make a mistake, we attribute it to
circumstances that pushed us into doing it. But when others make a
mistake, we tend to see it as a character flaw, as something that flowed
from their imperfect personality. This is known as the attribution bias.
You must work against this. With an empathic attitude, you consider
first the circumstances that might have made a person do what they
did, giving them the same benefit of the doubt as you give yourself.
Finally, adopting this attitude depends on the quality of your self-
love. If you feel terribly superior to others, or gripped by insecurities,
your moments of empathy and absorption in people will be shallow.
What you need is a complete acceptance of your character, including
your flaws, which you can see clearly but even appreciate and love. You
are not perfect. You are not an angel. You have the same nature as
others. With this attitude, you can laugh at yourself and let slights
wash over you. From a position of genuine inner strength and
resilience, you can more easily direct your attention outward.