The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

The Pleaser:
You have never met anyone so nice and considerate. You
almost can’t believe how accommodating and charming they are. Then
slowly you begin to have some doubts, but nothing you can put your
finger on. Perhaps they don’t show up as promised or don’t do a job so
well. It is subtle. The further this goes, however, the more it seems like
they are sabotaging you or talking behind your back. These types are
consummate courtiers, and they have developed their niceness not out
of a genuine affection for their fellow humans but as a defense
mechanism. Perhaps they had harsh and punishing parents who
scrutinized their every action. Smiling and a deferential front was their
way of deflecting any form of hostility, and it becomes their pattern for
life. They also probably resorted to lying to their parents, and they are
generally practiced and expert liars.
Just as when they were children, behind the smiles and flattery is a
great deal of resentment at the role they have to play. They secretly
yearn to harm or steal from the person they serve or defer to. You must
be on your guard with people who actively exert so much charm and
politeness, past the point of what is natural. They can turn out to be
quite passive-aggressive, particularly hitting you when your guard is
down.
The Savior:
You cannot believe your good luck—you have met
someone who will save you from your difficulties and troubles.
Somehow they recognized your need for help and here they are with
books to read, strategies to employ, the right foods to eat. In the
beginning it is all quite seductive, but your doubts begin the moment
you want to assert your independence and do things on your own.
In childhood, these types often had to become the caregivers of
their own mother, father, or siblings. The mother, for instance, made

---

her own needs the primary concern of the family. Such children
compensate for the lack of care that they receive with the feeling of
power that they derive from the inverted relationship. This sets a
pattern: they gain their greatest satisfaction from rescuing people,
from being the caregiver and savior. They have a nose for those in
possible need of salvation. But you can detect the compulsive aspect of
this behavior by their need to control you. If they are willing to let you
stand on your own two feet after some initial help, then they are truly
noble. If not, it is really about the power they can exercise. In any
event, it is always best to cultivate self-reliance and tell saviors to save
themselves.