The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

part on the stage of life with consummate skill, attracting attention,
dominating the limelight, and making yourself into a sympathetic hero
or heroine. Second, you must not be naive and mistake people’s
appearances for reality. You are not blinded by people’s acting skills.
You transform yourself into a master decoder of their true feelings,
working on your observation skills and practicing them as much as you
can in daily life.

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And so, for these purposes, there are three aspects to this particular
law: understanding how to observe people; learning some basic keys
for decoding nonverbal communication; and mastering the art of what
is known as impression management, playing your role to maximum
effect.
Observational Skills
When we were children, we were almost all great observers of people.
Because we were small and weak, our survival depended on decoding
people’s smiles and tones of voice. We were often struck by the
peculiar walking styles of adults, their exaggerated smiles and affected
mannerisms. We would imitate them for fun. We could sense that an
individual was threatening from something in his or her body
language. This is why children are the bane of inveterate liars, con
artists, magicians, and people who pretend to be something they are
not. Children quickly see through their front. Slowly, from the age of
five onward, this sensitivity is lost as we start to turn inward and
become more concerned with how others see us.
You must realize that it is not a matter of acquiring skills you do not
possess but rather of rediscovering those you once had in your earliest
years. This means slowly reversing the process of self-absorption and
regaining that outward-directed view and curiosity you had as a child.
As with any skill, this will require patience. What you are doing is
slowly rewiring your brain through practice, mapping new neuronal
connections. You do not want to overload yourself in the beginning
with too much information. You need to take baby steps, to see small
but daily progress. In a casual conversation with someone, give
yourself the goal of observing one or two facial expressions that seem
to go against what the person is saying or indicate some additional
information. Be attentive to microexpressions, quick flashes on the
face of tension, or forced smiles (see the next section for more on this).
Once you succeed in this simple exercise with one person, try it with
someone else, always focusing on the face. Once you find it easier to
notice cues from the face, attempt to make a similar observation about
an individual’s voice, noting any changes in pitch or the pace of
talking. The voice says a lot about people’s level of confidence and their
contentment. Later on graduate to elements of body language—such as
posture, hand gestures, positioning of legs. Keep these exercises

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simple, having simple goals. Write down any observations, particularly
any patterns you notice.
As you practice these exercises, you must be relaxed and open to
what you see, not champing at the bit to interpret your observations
with words. You must be engaged in the conversation while talking less
and trying to get them to talk more. Try to mirror them, making
comments that play off something they have said and reveal you are
listening to them. This will have the effect of making them relax and
want to talk more, which will make them leak out more nonverbal
cues. But your observing of people must never be obvious. Feeling
scrutinized, people will freeze up and try to control their expressions.
Too much direct eye contact will betray you. You must appear natural
and attentive, using only quick peripheral glances to notice any
changes in the face, voice, or body.
In observing any particular individual over time, you need to
establish their baseline expression and mood. Some people are
naturally quiet and reserved, their facial expression revealing this.
Some are more animated and energetic, while still others continually
wear an anxious look. Aware of a person’s usual demeanor, you can
pay greater attention to any deviations—for instance, sudden
animation in someone who is generally reserved, or a relaxed look
from the habitually nervous. Once you know a person’s baseline, it will
be much easier to see signs of dissimulation or distress in them. The
ancient Roman Mark Antony was naturally a jovial person, always
smiling, laughing, and poking fun at people. It was when he suddenly
turned silent and sullen in their meetings after the assassination of
Julius Caesar that Antony’s rival Octavius (later Augustus) understood
that Antony was up to something and had hostile intentions.
Related to the baseline expression, try to observe the same person
in different settings, noticing how their nonverbal cues change if they
are talking to a spouse, a boss, an employee.
For another exercise, observe people who are about to do something
exciting—a trip to some alluring place, a date with someone they’ve
been pursuing, or any event for which they have high expectations.
Note the looks of anticipation, how the eyes open wider and stay there,
the face flushed and generally animated, a slight smile on the lips as
they think of what’s about to come. Contrast this with the tension
exhibited by a person about to take a test or go on a job interview. You

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are increasing your vocabulary when it comes to correlating emotions
and facial expressions.
Pay great attention to any mixed signals you pick up: a person
professes to love your idea, but their face shows tension and their tone
of voice is strained; or they congratulate you on your promotion, but
the smile is forced and the expression seems sad. Such mixed signals
are very common. They can also involve different parts of the body. In
the novel The Ambassadors by Henry James, the narrator notices that
a woman who has visited him smiles at him during most of the
conversation but holds her parasol with a great deal of tension. Only by
noticing this can he sense her real mood—discomfort. With mixed
signals, you need to be aware that a greater part of nonverbal
communication involves the leakage of negative emotions, and you
need to give greater weight to the negative cue as indicative of the
person’s true feelings. At some point, you can then ask yourself why
they might feel sadness or antipathy.
To take your practice further, try a different exercise. Sit in a café or
some public space, and without the burden of having to be involved in
a conversation, observe the people around you. Listen in on their
conversations for vocal cues. Take note of walking styles and overall
body language. If possible, take notes. As you get better at this, you can
try to guess people’s profession by the cues you pick up, or something
about their personality from their body language. It should be a
pleasurable game.
As you progress, you will be able to split your attention more easily
—listening attentively to what people have to say, but also taking
careful note of nonverbal cues. You will also become aware of signals
you had not noticed before, continually expanding your vocabulary.
Remember that everything people do is a sign of some sort; there is no
such thing as a gesture that does not communicate. You will pay
attention to people’s silences, the clothes they wear, the arrangement
of objects on their desk, their breathing patterns, the tension in certain
muscles (particularly in the neck), the subtext in their conversations—
what is not said or what is implied. All of these discoveries should
excite and impel you to go further.
In practicing this skill you must be aware of some common errors
you can fall into. Words express direct information. We can argue
about what people mean when they say something, but the

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interpretations are fairly limited. Nonverbal cues are much more
ambiguous and indirect. There is no dictionary to tell you what this or
that means. It depends on the individual and the context. If you are not
careful, you will glean signs but quickly interpret them to fit your own
emotional biases about people, which will make your observations not
only useless but also dangerous. If you are observing someone you
naturally dislike, or who reminds you of someone unpleasant in your
past, you will tend to see almost any cue as unfriendly or hostile. You
will do the opposite for people you like. In these exercises you must
strive to subtract your personal preferences and prejudices about
people.
Related to this is what is known as Othello’s error. In the play