The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Keys to Human Nature
We humans are consummate actors. We learn at an early age how to
get what we want from our parents by putting on certain looks that will
elicit sympathy or affection. We learn how to conceal from our parents
or siblings exactly what we’re thinking or feeling, to protect ourselves
in vulnerable moments. We become good at flattering those whom it is
important to win over—popular peers or teachers. We learn how to fit
into the group by wearing the same clothes and speaking the same
language. As we get older and strive to carve out a career, we learn how
to create the proper front in order to be hired and to fit into a group

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culture. If we become an executive or a professor or a bartender, we
must act the part.
Imagine a person who never develops these acting skills, whose face
instantly grimaces when he dislikes what you say or cannot suppress a
yawn when you fail to entertain him, who always speaks his mind, who
completely goes his own way in his ideas and style, who acts the same
whether he’s talking to his boss or to a child, and you have imagined a
person who would be shunned, ridiculed, and despised.
We are all such good actors that we’re not even aware of this as it
happens. We imagine we are almost always being sincere in our social
encounters, which any good actor will tell you is the secret behind
really believable acting. We take these skills for granted, but to see
them in action, try to look at yourself as you interact with different
members of your family and with your boss and colleagues at work.
You will see yourself subtly changing what you say, your tone of voice,
your mannerisms, your whole body language, to suit each individual
and situation. For people you are trying to impress, you wear a much
different face than with those with whom you are familiar and can let
down your guard. You do this almost without thinking.
Over the centuries various writers and thinkers, looking at humans
from an outside perspective, have been struck by the theatrical quality
of social life. The most famous quote expressing this comes from
Shakespeare: “All the world’s a stage, / And all the men and women
merely players; / They have their exits and their entrances, / And one
man in his time plays many parts.” If the theater and actors were
traditionally represented by the image of masks, writers such as
Shakespeare are implying that all of us are constantly wearing masks.
Some people are better actors than others. Villainous types such as
Iago in the play Othello are able to conceal their hostile intentions
behind a friendly, benign smile. Others are able to act with more
confidence and bravado—they often become leaders. People with
consummate acting skills can better navigate our complex social
environments and get ahead.
Although we are all expert actors, at the same time we secretly
experience this need to act and play a part as a burden. We are the
most successful social animal on the planet. For hundreds of
thousands of years our hunter-gatherer ancestors could survive only by
constantly communicating with one another through nonverbal cues.

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Developed over so much time, before the invention of language, that is
how the human face became so expressive, and gestures so elaborate.
This is bred deep within us. We have a continual desire to
communicate our feelings and yet at the same time the need to conceal
them for proper social functioning. With these counterforces battling
inside us, we cannot completely control what we communicate. Our
real feelings continually leak out in the form of gestures, tones of voice,
facial expressions, and posture. We are not trained, however, to pay
attention to people’s nonverbal cues. By sheer habit, we fixate on the
words people say, while also thinking about what we’ll say next. What
this means is that we are using only a small percentage of the potential
social skills we all possess.
Imagine, for instance, conversations with people you’ve recently
met. By paying extra-close attention to the nonverbal cues they emit,
you can pick up their moods and mirror these moods back to them,
getting them to unconsciously relax in your presence. As the
conversation progresses, you can pick up signs that they are
responding to your gestures and mirroring, which gives you license to
go further and deepen the spell. In this way, you can build up rapport
and win over a valuable ally. Conversely, imagine people who almost
immediately reveal signs of hostility toward you. You are able to see
through their fake, tight smiles, to pick up the flashes of irritation that
cross their face and the signs of subtle discomfort in your presence.
Registering all this as it happens, you can then politely disengage from
the interaction and remain wary of them, looking for further signs of
hostile intentions. You have probably saved yourself from an
unnecessary battle or an ugly act of sabotage.
Your task as a student of human nature is twofold: First, you must
understand and accept the theatrical quality of life. You do not
moralize and rail against the role-playing and the wearing of masks so
essential to smooth social functioning. In fact, your goal is to play your