The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted
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The art of saying no
WE FEAR MISSING OUT ON
OPPORTUNITIES H ave you ever said yes to your boss because you were afraid that saying no would disqualify you for a raise, promotion, or new responsibilities? Have you ever said yes to a friend because you feared saying no would cost you a rewarding life experience? That’s the fear of missing out (FOMO for short). It’s the anxiety we feel at the prospect of being unable to take advantage of opportunities. And it’s a common reason many of us say yes even when we realize saying no would be a better decision. For example, at the workplace, we take on new projects because we fear that declining them will impede the advancement of our careers. With our friends, we commit ourselves to activities because we’re afraid to miss out on rewarding experiences. Social media only reinforces this tendency. We’re constantly reading Facebook on our phones and tablets, watching others post about their experiences, and chiding ourselves for not having our own to post. We end up saying yes to things just so we don’t feel left out. The curious result is that we start to feel unfocused, frustrated, and unhappy, even as we strive to take advantage of every opportunity. Why? Because we inevitably stretch ourselves too thin pursuing things that are inconsequential to us. So the problem isn’t that we say yes to opportunities. The problem is that we fail to discriminate between the wrong opportunities and the right ones. Remember, there’s only so much time in the day. You can’t do everything. That means each time you say yes to something, you tacitly say no to something else. In pursuing some opportunities, you miss out on others. This is one of the reasons it’s important to learn to say no. By declining some offers, you allow yourself the freedom to say yes to those that’ll prove truly rewarding to you. This change in habit requires a change in mindset. It entails abandoning your fear of missing out while remaining aware of opportunities that are consistent with your goals and interests. |
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