The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted


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The art of saying no

WE STRUGGLE WITH LOW SELF-
ESTEEM
S
elf-esteem is a tricky, slippery thing. Sometimes, we’re
confident to the point that we feel we can conquer the
world. Other times, we feel utterly insecure. We second
guess ourselves to the point that we’re unable to take any
action at all.
These feelings affect how we perceive ourselves. They
influence our self-image, and shape our sense of self-worth.
Insecurity can make us feel inadequate, and even provoke
twinges of shame.
It’s important to recognize this effect because it
discourages us from saying no to people. Here’s how it
works:
Burdened with a low self-image, we mistakenly believe
our time is worth less than others’ time. We wrongly assume
our goals and interests are inferior to other people’s goals
and interests. We perceive our value to the world as
somehow less than the value offered by those around us.
Given this reasoning, it’s no wonder we’re inclined to
put others ahead of ourselves. It’s understandable that,
when we’re asked to help, we instinctively say yes when we
should really say no given our other responsibilities.
This isn’t an easy problem to solve. Many of those who
struggle with self-esteem issues have done so for years.
Some have done so throughout their lives. Improving their


self-image is likely to involve a long process with plenty of
bumps along the way.
The good news is that saying no can actually improve
your sense of self-worth. The more you do it, the more you’ll
come to realize that your time, commitments, and
aspirations are just as important as those of the requestor.
And that’s a meaningful step toward improving your
self-esteem.
The Art Of Saying NO isn’t intended to address or
resolve emotional issues. It’s intended to help you become
more assertive, and overcome the impulse to please people
by saying yes to their requests and invitations. Along the
way, you’ll find that saying no with purpose and grace will
give you the confidence to move forward in a way that’s
consistent with your convictions.



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