The Art Of Thinking In Systems: Improve Your Logic, Think More Critically, And Use Proven Systems To Solve Your Problems Strategic Planning For Everyday Life pdfdrive com

The timeline of the relationship
Your body releases different chemicals and pheromones at different points in the
relationship. The stage that your relationship is in can become a contributing
factor when times get tough. Sometimes just the fact that they honeymoon phase
is over can cause its own set of problems.
Systems thinking is being able to really look at the whole complex picture of
yourself and your relationship. It is recognizing that there is more to your
relationship than just two feedback loops impacting the stock of the relationship.

---

Many feedback loops are at work at the same time, and all of them affect your
stock. Increasing your awareness of all of these loops and the roles they play
increases your ability to see things objectively and understand what’s happening
in your relationship.
Some of these influential factors disappear as the relationship ages. After the
honeymoon period ends, you will need to find things to replace it so that it
doesn’t leave behind a gap in your relationship. Intentionally creating
opportunities for reinforcing your commitment and intimacy with each other,
like having date nights, can help.
When you approach your relationship from a systems perspective, there is much
less of an opportunity and inclination to take things personally and assign
negativity and blame. You realize that your partner is not to blame for
everything that goes wrong. Many little changes in the dynamics of the system
are at work.
Being able to take personal feelings out of the equation means that we can be
more efficient in our quest to find solutions. We are better equipped to spot gaps
in the relationship dynamics and fill in those gaps. We can search for the true
underlying problems and fix them instead of just the systems. We can keep
ourselves from automatically assuming the worse and jumping to incorrect
conclusions.
Keep in mind that no one partner is to blame for everything that goes wrong,
including yourself. Try to cultivate a relationship that is resilient and can
weather any storm. This is so much more helpful than just a stable relationship,
as we know that there is only one thing certain in life, and that is change.