The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com
ready to see Daddy.’ And she stood up and got out. Then I
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The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block
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- Point at her shoe and beg her, in a pitiful voice, to give it
- “Cracker … cracker … You want cracker! You want cracker … right now! No crackers now, honey, but after your carrots you can have more crackers. Should you get
ready to see Daddy.’ And she stood up and got out. Then I
dried her fast and played dolls with her for a few minutes to thank her for her cooperation. It was great.” After you give your message, you can encourage your child to be even more cooperative in the future if you take a moment to feed her meter with a little distraction or a win-win compromise: • Distraction: Once your child starts to calm, offer a bit of fun (like attention, a hug, a snack, or playing the boob). Playing the boob, for example, shows your tot that even though she had to give in to you this time, there are plenty of other times when she gets to be faster/smarter/stronger than you. Point at her shoe and beg her, in a pitiful voice, to give it Point at her shoe and beg her, in a pitiful voice, to give it to you. When she hesitates, throw your hands down like you “give up” and say, “Okay, you win, you always win me.” A few seconds later, beg for her shoe again and let her reject you again. Kids love when we’re boobs and they get to reject our silly requests. • Offer a win-win compromise: Right after you squelch a tantrum, help your child save face by offering her some type of compromise. This little deal shows your toddler that even though she lost the argument you have respect for her and she can still hold her head up high. “Cracker … cracker … You want cracker! You want cracker … right now! No crackers now, honey, but after your carrots you can have more crackers. Should you get two or three?” But … what if all your good communication is met with even louder bawling? Then it’s time to offer a hug, solve the problem, or do a little kind ignoring: • Offer a hug. Your toddler may just be having a bad day … we’ve all been there. Try offering your upset child a hug, but be prepared to duck (just in case your irate little Tarzan takes a swing at your nose). Some parents soothe their flailing furious toddlers by giving a bear hug from behind—restraining the arms—while they repeatedly whisper in the ear things like “You’re really, really mad.” “You say, ‘No, no, no!’ ” • Solve the problem. Occasionally, if you’re really in a time crunch, it’s okay to give in. For example, you might say to your upset three-year-old, “You’re so sad! You really want a cookie … now! The rule is no cookies before dinner … but you were so helpful picking up your toys this morning, Mommy will bend the rule—a tiny bit—and give you one cookie. Do you want it in a napkin or on a plate?” • Kind ignore. If your uncivilized little friend is still flailing on the floor, most of the time your best tactic will be to lovingly give her the cold shoulder—kind ignoring (Kind Ignoring: Give Your Tot a Little Cold Shoulder). Here’s how: • Use Toddler-ese one last time … then lovingly say you’re leaving for a little while. Be caring, but matter-of-fact. Avoid threats, sarcasm, or shaming. Kind ignoring makes it clear that you understand, but you’re not giving in. • Pretend to be busy doing something for twenty seconds. • If your child starts to calm, quickly turn to your tot and offer some Toddler-ese, a hug, and a nice time-in (“You were really sad.… You wanted the ball and Mommy said ‘No!’ But come on … let’s play with your trains. Do you want to be Thomas or Henry?”). • If your child is still crying after twenty seconds of being ignored, return and echo again how she’s feeling. Many kids get so upset that they need us to do kind ignoring two to three times before they start to settle. A few spirited kids just won’t stop crying even after you come and go a few times. They have trouble giving in because it hurts their pride. If your child is one of these stubborn kids, you may need to ignore him for two to five minutes until he starts to calm. Keep a watch on him out of the corner of your eye or in a mirror. Once he stops crying and starts to play with something, just sit on the ground near him (to show respect). Don’t be in a rush to talk or make eye contact; remember, he’s probably still mad. Then, start to reconnect by slowly joining in his activity. Don’t talk about the tantrum yet. Just reward the now-good behavior with a bit of your attention. That will help him get over his pouting and open his heart again. |
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