The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

Connect with Respect.
Upset toddlers are usually the most
emotional people in the room and that’s why we generally acknowledge
their feelings before we give our message. But in red-light situations, we
get to go first. “Stop! No hit! No hit! We don’t hit people.” Only after the
danger or aggression stops do we use the Fast-Food Rule and Toddler-ese
to narrate our toddler’s anger or frustration.
“Take-Charge” Consequence.
When your kids are fighting, it
may be obvious to you which one deserves a time-out. But if you’re not
sure who the chief culprit is, it’s often best to discipline both kids. I know
that may seem a little unfair, but here’s why it can be the right thing to
do: First, it’s often hard to know who the victim really is (sometimes, the
munchkin you thought was innocent actually provoked the fight by
teasing or taunting), and second, it teaches that regardless of who
started the fight, they both have responsibility for having continued it.
Later in the day, use your other tools (like gossip, role-play, fairy tales,
catching others being good, etc.) to encourage anything positive about
the fight (like stopping when you said “Stop!”) and to discourage what
you disliked (like biting or using hurtful words).
Kids who get into lots of fights may need more time to run around
outside. They often benefit from attending nursery school to keep them
busy and out of mischief.
When to Step Back … and Let Your Kids
Solve It

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You don’t necessarily have to intervene in every slugfest your kids
have. Small struggles help kids learn to stand up for themselves and
be courageous. Besides, sooner or later, you will want your kids to
learn to settle their differences on their own.
So as long as the fight is a yellow-light situation, not a red-light
one (that is, it involves bickering and bellowing, but not bleeding),
let the kids struggle a bit before you intervene. When you enter the
room, use the Fast-Food Rule and Toddler-ese to show you
understand that they’re both upset and that you really care. Then
excuse yourself and give them another minute to work it out. (Of
course, if the fighting spins out of control—physically or verbally—
it’s time to step in and hand out some consequences.)
Dangerous-Behavior Example: Biting
Biting is a common behavior for primitive cave-kids. They typically
chomp during teething or when frustrated. But if this behavior is not
discouraged, promptly and powerfully, it can turn into a dangerous habit
(like biting other kids’ faces or biting babies).