Tools to Deal with Biting
Here’s how to stop this dangerous behavior fast:
Consequences.
If the chomper bites before you can stop him, he
needs a consequence.
With a young toddler, start with a mild
consequence.
Clap-Growl.
In the example above, Monica’s message, “Mommy
doesn’t like biting,” failed to work because it was way too sweet.
Remember,
in emotional situations, what you say is much less important
than the way you say it. Be firm and wear a serious expression to match.
If you happen to see your tot open his mouth right as he’s about to
nip, give some fast,
hard claps, make a deep, menacing growl, do a
double take (see
this page
), and with a warning finger held up, bark,
“Hey
… hey!! No bite.
No bite!!”
Don’t stare at your child after the warning.
Staring may make a
defiant kid disobey even more!
Kind Ignoring.
Immediately remove your little biter from the
situation. Give him a “cold shoulder” for twenty to thirty seconds and
lavish some sympathy on the child who was nipped. (Let the biter
overhear
you gossip to his victim, “I say, ‘No, no,
no! ’ I don’t like it
when Lukie bites. Kids have to use their words when they’re mad. I like
it when kids who are really angry say, ‘No, no! I don’t like it!’ ”) After a
minute
or two of kind ignoring, reengage your child with a little friendly
talking or play.
Later in the day, gossip to his teddy bear about how you don’t like
biting. Role-play the incident and ask your child what the “biter” could
do to make the bitten doll feel better. You might also tell a fairy tale.
Perhaps a little story about the girl bunny who was sad because she
would bite so much that the other bunnies didn’t want to play with her.
So her mommy taught her a special trick:
Every time she wanted to bite,
she should show her teeth and click them together three times … but
never bite. The other little bunnies thought this was funny and then they
all wanted to play with her! This made her smile and she lived happily
ever after. The end!
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