feel heard and respected. Amazingly, as soon as Fran
changed her tone to reflect the genuine distress Camille
was feeling, Camille quieted in seconds!
Be a Spokesperson
When toddlers are upset, their left brains get unbalanced and they have
trouble finding words for what they want to communicate. One way to
help
your child overcome this speaker’s block is for you to talk
for her.
Say what you think she’d say if she could. For example:
If your child resists having his teeth brushed, you might
say: “Siena says, ‘Me do it! Me do it!’ ” If your child cries
when the juice spills, you might say: “Brenda says, ‘My
juice! My juice! I want my juice!’ ”
Be a Sportscaster
Another way to help your tot calm down is to describe what she is
doing, as if you are a TV sportscaster “calling the action.” For example:
If your child is having a fit, you might say: “You’re sooo
mad!! You’re on the ground … kicking! And your face is
really sad! You wanted that toy and now you’re mad at
Mommy!”
Good listening is your secret weapon. Successful parents, like successful
ambassadors, build great relationships by
communicating with love and
respect (not power and put-downs).
Think of the FFR +Toddler-ese as the “Rescue Team” that helps you
save your child when she’s lost in the
jungle of her emotions. Instead of
trying to
coax her into calm with quiet tones, use some spirited Toddler-
ese to connect with her.
Then, as she begins to settle, gradually use a
more normal voice to guide her back to “civilization.”
Now that you know
the fine points of Toddler-ese, let’s go back to
Shelby and the struggling two-year-olds (on
this page
), and let’s imagine
what might have happened had she used Toddler-ese:
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