Paris … but, no … no! No cookie now. (Opens eyes wide
and, in a happy voice, changes the subject.) But, hey!
Let’s play ball! Come on! Here it is … catch it!
Here’s how Iris helped her 2½-year-old reduce his tantrums:
“When Jason starts to scream, I jump in and describe why
I think he’s upset. If I imitate a little of his feeling in my
voice and face he sees I ‘get it’ and he usually
settles … quickly.
“However, if I stop the Toddler-ese too soon, his wailing
starts again, and I have to go back and do a little more.
‘Jason is still mad, mad, mad! He’s angrrrrry! Jason says,
No, no … no!’ Your face is really mad!” When he starts to
quiet and look at me, that’s the signal for me to take a
turn to talk and offer my point of view or some solutions.
“Initially, his tantrums would last for five to ten
minutes. Now, they end in seconds! He still needs a
minute to two of my attention when he’s upset, but he gets
back into a good mood much faster!”
For Leslie, Toddler-ese was her magic charm for surviving the
“diaper-wars”:
“Last night at a restaurant, Nathan, 15 months, pooped,
and I had to take his flailing little body out to the car to
get a fresh diaper on him. As he screamed in protest, I
tried to lovingly acknowledge his feelings: ‘I know you
don’t want to leave the restaurant. I know you don’t like
it.’ But he was so mad and squirmy that I couldn’t even
change him.
“In desperation, I gave Toddler-ese a try. I made fists
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