and secure.
Despite their worries, older toddlers no longer demand rigid
sameness. In fact, they love it when we throw silly variations
into their routines (adding a
crazy verse to a favorite song,
making up new words as you read a beloved bedtime story,
having a “picnic” lunch on a blanket in the living room).
What It Is:
A wonderful routine that allows you to appreciate some
of the good things your toddler did today and to consider all the
wonderful things that might happen tomorrow.
During the twilight moments right before sleep, your child’s
mind is
like a little sponge soaking up your loving words. Bedtime sweet talk
helps your child drift into sleep feeling smart, loved, and like a winner!
Best Used For:
All toddlers. Start this loving habit as early as you
can. Don’t worry if your child doesn’t understand all your words.… Even
your one-year-old will be comforted by listening to your kind, soft voice.
How to Do It:
Cuddle in bed until
your child is nice and relaxed, then:
• Softly retell some of his good deeds from the day (acts of
kindness, fun experiences, etc.). Keep your voice gentle and
understated—more like a candle than a sparkler.
• Describe the love that fills you when you watch him (“When I
saw you reading, I got as happy as a puppy!”).
• Count his hand checks and mention what he did to earn each
one (see
Time-Ins:
Hand Checks
).
• Look forward to tomorrow by mentioning a few of the
wonderful things that
may happen: “And tomorrow, at school,
perhaps you’ll play trains with Seymour
or have fun climbing on
the monkey bars. It might even be your most fun day ever! You
may even do some things that are a big help at school.
… Teacher Kris likes it when you help pick up toys.”
Here’s an example of how bedtime sweet talk might sound:
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