Time-Out: A Parenting Classic
Time-out is a classic discipline tactic. It is not a sign of failure—yours or
your child’s. Toddlers are supposed to push the limits. But we need to be
ready to give clear signals when they push too far.
Toddlerhood is the most dangerous period of childhood—at least until
your child gets his first dirt bike! And it is your job to teach your tot to
be careful. Time-outs train toddlers to take our words seriously and to
heed our warning before a catastrophe occurs.
Take running away from you in a parking lot, for example. Perhaps
your child dashes off the instant you start putting groceries in the trunk.
Of course you’ll run after him, but that may make him run even faster …
thinking it’s a game of chase. What you really want is a special signal
that your child always listens to, one that means Stop, now! Or you won’t
like what happens next. Time-out is the way of teaching your child that
your warnings must be heeded.
During the months after a child’s first birthday, I recommend doing
time-outs several times a week. That helps your tot learn your I’m not
kidding! signal. Your serious tone of voice, disapproving frown, and
counting to three will make him remember, Uh-oh … when my mom
counts like that I always get grounded.… I better stop!
What It Is: Time-out
is a “take-charge” consequence where you
very briefly deprive your child of two precious things: freedom and the
privilege of being with you.
Best Used For:
All toddlers! (I advise teaching time-outs at the
one-year checkup and strongly recommend that parents use them many
times over the following months.)
How to Do It:
Time-out requires one piece of equipment—a timer—
and has three simple steps (Note: For dangerous or really bad behavior
you can skip right to step 3):
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