As
kids get older and more verbal, their tantrums occur less and
less. Yet many three-to-four-year-olds (and teens) have occasional
meltdowns. That’s because:
1. They still struggle with impulse control. Older toddlers are
increasingly well behaved. But after a long day, your child may lose
control and scream with the force of Old Faithful (especially if he has
a spirited temperament).
2. They are emotional yo-yos. Three-year-olds are no longer babies,
but they’re not quite big kids. They sometimes yo-yo back and forth
between these two developmental stages so much that they totally fall
apart: “I’m a baby!… I’m a big kid!” Yikes! Think of it as emotional
whiplash (for him and
you).
3. They see outbursts at home. If there is lots of quarreling in your
family (or violence displayed on TV), your child may defy you more
because he’s learned that arguing is a normal way to express
frustration.
Stop Tantrums … in Seconds: The
Happiest Toddler Way
Here is an effective way to lovingly halt most toddler tantrums … in
under a minute. By now, these tantrum-calming skills should sound quite
familiar. They’re as close to a magic wand as you’ll ever get.
Stop a Tantrum by Connecting with Respect
When
your toddler starts to lose it, the first thing you should do is
connect with respect. Squat down to his level and echo back a bit of his
feelings by using the Fast-Food Rule and Toddler-ese. (Remember to use
your tone of voice and gestures to reach your child’s sweet spot.)
Practice this several times on small eruptions before trying it out on a
major outburst.
Amazingly, at least 50 percent of the time this simple
step alone will quell tantrums in seconds.
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