The table illustrates how grown person and youngsters expended their income on four main items in the UK in the year 1998.
Overall, it is obvious that adults regardless of their gender spent more on food and least on videos, while children, expended most on music and smallest amount of their income on food with girls on electronic equipment.
Spending preferences of both men and women in the UK were the same in some aspect.Both genders budgeted the least on videos, at 2% for men and 1% for women. They also spent equally on music with 5% for both. A 10% of their income men used for electronic equipment, which is ten times as that as of women. In contrast, women were to spend 39% on food almost three times higher than men with 14%. Moreover, adults, in general, expended 25% on food, 5% on electronic equipment also for music with the smallest amount on videos 1%.
Specifically, children in the UK both girls and boys spent more on entertainment such as music and videos( 38% and 18%, 40% and 17%). Boys, however, expended more as three times as girls on electronic equipment ( 18% and 5%). Similarly, both boys and girls spent almost the same amount of their amount with girls 11% and boys with 9%
FEEDBACK
The sentence “The table illustrates how grown person and youngsters expended their income on four main items in the UK in the year 1998” should be corrected to “The table illustrates how adults and children allocated their income to four main items in the UK in the year 1998.”
The sentence “adults regardless of their gender spent more on food and least on videos, while children, expended most on music and smallest amount of their income on food with girls on electronic equipment” is confusing and has incorrect sentence structure. It can be rephrased as “Adults, regardless of their gender, spent the most on food and the least on videos…”
The sentence “Spending preferences of both men and women in the UK were the same in some aspect” should be corrected to “Spending preferences of both men and women in the UK were similar in some aspects.”
The sentence “A 10% of their income men used for electronic equipment, which is ten times as that as of women” should be corrected to “Men allocated 10% of their income to electronic equipment, which is ten times more than women.”
The sentence “Moreover, adults, in general, expended 25% on food, 5% on electronic equipment also for music with the smallest amount on videos 1%.” Is incorrect and unclear. It can be rephrased as “Moreover, adults, in general, allocated 25% of their income to food, 5% to electronic equipment, 5% to music, and the smallest amount, 1%, to videos.”
The sentence “Specifically, children in the UK both girls and boys spent more on entertainment such as music and videos( 38% and 18%, 40% and 17%)” should be corrected to “Specifically, both girls and boys in the UK spent more on entertainment items, such as music and videos, with girls spending 38% on music and 18% on videos, while boys spent 40% on music and 17% on videos.”
The sentence “Boys, however, expended more as three times as girls on electronic equipment ( 18% and 5%)” should be corrected to “However, boys spent three times more than girls on electronic equipment, allocating 18% of their income compared to girls’ 5%.”
The sentence “Similarly, both boys and girls spent almost the same amount of their amount with girls 11% and boys with 9%” is unclear and repetitive. It can be rephrased as “Similarly, both boys and girls allocated a similar portion of their income, with girls spending 11% and boys spending 9%.”
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