13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

MINIMIZE RISK MAXIMIZE SUCCESS
Every year at my high school’s graduation ceremony the valedictorian was
expected to give a speech. Halfway through my senior year, when I learned I was
going to be the valedictorian, my fear of giving a speech outweighed my
excitement about having the highest GPA in my class. I was incredibly shy, to
the point that I usually didn’t speak in class, even though my classmates were
people I’d known since kindergarten. The thought of standing at a podium and
giving a speech in front of a packed auditorium was enough to make me weak in
the knees.
When I tried writing my speech, I had no words to put down on the paper. I
was too distracted by the thought of having to speak the words in front of a
crowd of people. But I knew I had to get something together, because the clock
was ticking.
And common advice like “Picture the audience in their underwear” or
“Practice reading your speech in front of a mirror” wasn’t going to be enough to
calm my nerves. I was terrified.

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So I spent some time thinking about what my biggest fear with public
speaking actually was. And it turns out, I was afraid of the audience’s rejection. I
kept imagining that after I had finished my speech, the audience would remain
completely silent, because whatever I had just mumbled was either completely
inaudible or so horribly presented that no one could muster a clap. So, to
mitigate my risk, I had a conversation with my best friends and they helped me
devise a brilliant plan.
The plan reduced my risk and nerves enough that I was able to write my
speech. A few weeks later, on graduation day, I was feeling incredibly nervous as
I stood at the podium. My voice cracked the entire time, as I offered whatever
advice an eighteen-year-old could possibly offer her fellow classmates. But I got
through it. And when I was done, my friends followed through with our plan. On
cue, they stood up and cheered like they’d just witnessed the best rock concert in
the world. And what happens when a few people in a room stand up to applaud?
Other people follow suit. I received a standing ovation.
Was it earned? Maybe. Probably not. And to this day, that part doesn’t really
matter to me. The point was, I knew if I could get rid of my biggest fear—that
no one would clap for me—I could get through the speech.
The level of risk you’ll experience in a given situation is unique to you. While
speaking in front of a group is a risk to some people, it’s not risky at all to others.
Ask yourself the following questions to help you calculate your risk level:
• What are the potential costs? Sometimes the cost of taking a risk is tangible
—like the money you might spend on an investment—but other times,
intangible costs are associated with risk, like the risk of being rejected.
• What are the potential benefits? Consider the potential positive outcome of
taking the risk. Look at what would happen if the risk turns out well. Do you
stand to gain increased finances? Better relationships? Improved health?
There needs to be a big enough payoff to outweigh the potential costs.
• How will this help me achieve my goal? It is important to examine your
bigger goals and look at how this risk plays into that goal. For example, if
you are hoping to gain more money, look at how opening your own business
could help you with that goal as you examine your risk.

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• What are the alternatives? Sometimes we look at risk as if we only have two
choices—take the risk or pass it up. But, often, there are many different types
of opportunities that can help you reach your goals. It’s important to
recognize those alternatives that may lie in between so you can make the
most well-informed decision.
• How good would it be if the best-case scenario came true? Spend some time
really thinking about the payoff in a risk and how that payoff could impact
your life. Try to develop realistic expectations for how the best-case scenario
could benefit you.
• What is the worst thing that could happen and how could I reduce the risk it
will occur? It’s also important to really examine the worst-possible scenario
and then think about steps you could take to minimize the risk that it would
happen. For example, if you are considering investing in a business, how
could you increase your chance for success?
• How bad would it be if the worst-case scenario did come true? Just like
hospitals, cities, and governments have disaster-preparedness plans, it can be
helpful to create your own. Develop a plan for how you could respond if the
worst-case scenario did occur.
• How much will this decision matter in five years? To help you keep things in
perspective, ask yourself how much this particular risk is likely to impact
your future. If it’s a small risk, you probably won’t even remember it a few
years from now. If it’s a big risk, it could greatly impact your future.
It can be helpful to write down your answers so you can review them and read
them over. Be willing to do more research and gain as much information as
possible when you don’t have the facts available to help you calculate a risk
properly. When the information is not available, resolve to make the best
decision you can with the information you have.