13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

WHY WE AVOID RISKS
When Dale pictured himself opening a business, he was reminded of the last
time he took a financial risk and it didn’t work out for him. His thoughts about
taking another risk were immensely negative. He imagined himself becoming
bankrupt or risking his entire retirement to open a business that would fail. His
exaggeratedly negative thoughts led to fear and anxiety that prevented him from
taking action. It never occurred to him to find ways to decrease his risk and
increase his chances of success.
EMOTION PREVAILS OVER LOGIC
Even when our emotions lack any type of rational basis, we sometimes allow
those feelings to prevail. Instead of thinking about “what could be . . .” we focus
on “what if.” But risks don’t have to be reckless.
My yellow Lab, Jet, is a pretty emotional guy. The way he feels completely
dictates his behavior. And for some reason, he is terrified of some pretty strange
things. For example, he’s scared of most types of flooring. He loves to walk
around on carpet, but try to convince him to walk across linoleum, and you’ll
likely be out of luck. He’s convinced himself that most floors are slippery and
he’s terrified he might fall.

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Similar to how people often manage their anxiety, Jet created rules to manage
his fears. He can walk across the hardwood flooring in my living room without a
problem. But he won’t set foot on the tile in the hallway. He used to stand at the
end of the hallway and whine for hours because he wanted to visit me in the
office but didn’t want to risk stepping on the tile. I had hoped he’d ultimately
decide visiting me was worth the risk, but he didn’t. Eventually, I created a path
of throw rugs and now he carefully steps from rug to rug to avoid walking on the
floor.
He has rules about other houses that he occasionally visits. When he goes to
Lincoln’s mother’s house, which also has tile, he proceeds to the living room by
walking backward. In his canine mind, apparently it makes sense to back up, just
not walk forward on her tile.
My dad took care of Jet once while we were out of town and he sat on the
welcome mat just inside the door for the entire weekend. Sometimes Jet won’t
even enter certain buildings and has to be carried because he won’t set foot on
the linoleum. It’s not a small feat to carry an eighty-pound dog into the vet’s
office, so sometimes we bring our own throw rugs to create a path for him.
Jet’s fear usually outweighs his desire to risk walking on certain floors, but
there is an exception to the rule—when there’s cat food at stake, he’s willing to
take the risk. Jet had never actually entered the kitchen before because of the tile
floor. But as soon as he figured out there was an unattended cat food dish, his
excitement outweighed his fear.
Almost every day when he thinks we’re not watching, Jet slowly puts one paw
into the kitchen. Soon, he’ll put two paws on the floor and stretch as far into the
kitchen as he can. Eventually, he’ll get three paws on the floor. With one last
paw still on the carpet, he’ll stretch as far as he can reach into the kitchen, and
sometimes he manages to make it all the way to the cat food dish with all four
paws safely on the tile.
I don’t know how Jet draws conclusions about which floors are “safe” and
which are “scary” simply by looking at them. Despite the lack of logic involved,
it apparently makes sense to Jet.
Although it sounds ridiculous, humans often calculate risk in much the same
way. We base our decisions on emotion instead of logic. We incorrectly assume
there’s a direct correlation between our fear level and the risk level. But often,

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our emotions are just not rational. If we truly understood how to calculate risk,
we’d know which risks were worth taking and we’d be a lot less fearful about
taking them.
WE DON’T THINK ABOUT RISKS
To calculate risk, we must predict the probability that the outcome of our
behavior will result in either positive or negative consequences and then measure
how big of an impact those consequences will have. Too often a risk evokes such
a fear that we decide not to think about it or its consequences at all. And without
understanding the potential outcomes of taking a risk, we usually end up
avoiding risky ideas or dreams altogether.
Risk starts out as a thought process. Whether you’re considering purchasing a
new home, or you’re deciding whether to put on your seat belt, the decision
involves some level of risk. Your thoughts about the risk will influence the way
you feel, and ultimately, sway your behavior. When you’re driving your car, you
decide how fast to go. You face safety and legal risks while driving on the road,
and you must balance these risks with your time. The faster you drive, the less
time you have to spend in the car, but driving faster will also increase your risk
of getting in an accident and receiving legal consequences.
It’s unlikely you spend much time thinking about how fast to drive on your
way to work each day. Instead your decision to obey the law or break the speed
limit weighs heavily on your usual routine. But if you’re running late one day,
you’ll need to decide whether to drive faster and risk more physical and legal
danger or risk being late for work.
The truth is, most of us don’t really invest much time calculating which risks
to take and which risks to avoid. Instead, we base our decisions on emotions or
habit. If it sounds too scary, we avoid the risk. If we’re excited about the possible
benefits, we’re more likely to overlook the risk.