13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

TROUBLESHOOTING AND COMMON TRAPS
There may be certain areas of your life where it’s easy to behave according to
your values, and there may be other areas where you find yourself worrying
about pleasing people. Be aware of the warning signs and work on trying to live
a life that lines up with your beliefs, not one that will make the most people
happy.
WHAT’S HELPFUL

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Identifying your values and behaving according to them
Being aware of your emotions before deciding whether to say yes to
someone’s request
Saying no when you don’t want to do something
Practicing tolerating uncomfortable emotions associated with conflict
and confrontation
Behaving assertively even when speaking up may not be well received
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
Losing sight of who you are and what your values are
Only considering someone else’s feelings without thinking about your
emotions
Automatically accepting an invitation without considering whether it’s a
good choice
Agreeing with people and complying with requests to avoid
confrontation
Going along with the crowd or refusing to express any opinions that
may go against what the majority of people think

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CHAPTER 6
THEY DON’T FEAR TAKING CALCULATED
RISKS
Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is
an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
—RALPH WALDO EMERSON
Dale had worked as a high school shop teacher for almost thirty years and
although he liked his job, he just wasn’t all that passionate about it anymore. He
dreamed about the flexibility, freedom, and money he could gain from opening
his own furniture store. But when he’d shared that idea with his wife, she’d
rolled her eyes and referred to him as a dreamer.
The more Dale thought about it, the more he believed his wife was probably
right. But he didn’t want to keep teaching shop class. Partially because he was
bored with teaching and partially because he knew he was burned out. He felt
like he wasn’t as effective at teaching as he used to be. He didn’t think it was fair
to his students for him to keep teaching indefinitely.
The dream of opening his own business certainly wasn’t the first big idea Dale
had ever had. He’d once dreamed of living on a sailboat. During another phase

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of his life, he’d wanted to open a bed-and-breakfast in Hawaii. He’d never
attempted to follow through with any of his ideas because he always felt like he
should focus on providing for his family. Although his children were now grown,
and he and his wife were doing okay financially, he figured he should just keep
working at his teaching job until he reached retirement age.
As Dale trudged on as a shop teacher, he struggled with his mood. He felt
defeated and became depressed, something that he hadn’t experienced before.
He sought counseling, because he felt like there must be something wrong since
for the first time in his career, he really wasn’t enjoying his job.
Although Dale told me he agreed with his wife that he shouldn’t venture into
becoming an entrepreneur, it was clear that deep down he was still excited by the
prospect. At the mere mention of opening his own furniture business, his face lit
up, his body language changed, and his entire mood shifted.
We discussed his past experiences with taking risks. He said that years ago, he
had invested in real estate and lost a lot of money. Ever since then he was scared
to take any type of financial risk. After a few therapy sessions, Dale confessed
that he’d still love to start a business, but he was terrified at the thought of
giving up a stable job. He was confident in his woodworking skills but lacked
business knowledge. We began discussing steps he could take to educate himself
about the business world. Dale said he’d welcome the opportunity to take
business classes at the local community college. He also said he’d be happy to
join a local business networking group and would even look for a mentor to help
him get started. With a few ideas in mind about how he still may be able to keep
his dream alive, Dale continued weighing the pros and cons of opening his own
business.
Within a few weeks, Dale made a decision—he would open his business on a