13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

AVOID PEOPLE PLEASING
Saying yes had become such a habit for Megan that she found herself agreeing to
do things automatically.
So I helped her to develop a mantra where she repeated to herself, “Saying yes
to others means saying no to my husband and kids.” She knew it was okay to say
yes to some things without her husband and children being negatively affected.
She just couldn’t say yes all the time or her mood and family would suffer.
DETERMINE WHO YOU WANT TO PLEASE
If you want to be successful at reaching your goals, you need to define your
path, not just do what other people want you to do. Craigslist CEO Jim
Buckmaster knows the importance of this firsthand.
Buckmaster became the CEO of Craigslist in 2000. While other websites were
capitalizing on advertising, Craigslist wasn’t. In fact, Craigslist turned down a
variety of revenue-generating opportunities. Instead, Buckmaster and the team
decided to keep the website simple, and only charge users for a very few specific
types of listings. The bulk of user-generated listings has remained a free service.
In fact, the company doesn’t even have a marketing team.
Craigslist received a lot of backlash for this decision and Buckmaster has been
the target of much criticism. He’s been accused of being anticapitalistic and even
called a “social anarchist.” But Buckmaster didn’t try to please his critics.
Instead, he continued running Craigslist the way it has always operated.

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His willingness to go against the grain and prevent Craigslist from depending
too heavily on advertisements has likely kept the business running. It survived
the dot-com crash with ease and continues to be one of the most popular
websites in the world. Craigslist has been estimated to be worth at least $5
billion. By not worrying about trying to please everyone, Buckmaster was able
to keep the company focused on serving its purpose and reaching its audience.
Before you automatically change your behavior based on what you think other
people want, evaluate your thoughts and feelings. When you second-guess
whether you should express your opinion, remember these truths about people
pleasing:
• Worrying about trying to please everyone is a waste of time. You can’t
control how other people feel and the more time you spend devoting your
thoughts to wondering if people will be happy, the less time you’ll have to
think about what really matters.
• People pleasers are easily manipulated. Others can recognize a people
pleaser a mile away. Manipulators often use tactics to prey on people
pleasers’ emotions and control their behavior. Be on the lookout for people
who say things like “I’m only asking you to do to this because you’d do the
best job” or “I hate to ask you this, but . . .”
• It’s okay for other people to feel angry or disappointed. There is no reason
that people need to feel happy or pleased all the time. Everyone has the
ability to cope with a wide array of feelings, and it’s not your job to prevent
them from feeling negative emotions. Just because someone gets mad, it
doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong.
• You can’t please everyone. It’s impossible for everyone to be delighted by the
same things. Accept that some people will just never be pleased, and it isn’t
your job to make them happy.