A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

See also specific child or problem 
George (child), 34–35 
Ginny (child), 186 
giving in, Plan C as, 93 
Goleman, Daniel, 19–20, 46 
grandparents, 206, 220–21 
gray thinking, 42–43, 198 
grumpiness, and Danny, 62 
guanfacine (Tenex), 236 
gymnastics problem, 185–86 
Hector (child), 217 
Helen (child), 54–58, 125–29, 189–90 
help 
asking for, as category of solution, 
183–86 
classmates as source of, 260–261,
270 
for families, 210 
for parents, 176, 220 
herd-mentality factor, 244 
homeopathic agents, 239 
homework assignments 
identification/listing of problems, 
88–89, 119–20, 131 
selection of problems to solve, 119–20, 
131 
homework as a problem 
communication patterns in families, 
214–17 
defining the problem, 106 
empathy, 101, 103, 106 
as example of Proactive Plan B, 
125–29 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
134–37 
invitation, 113–14 
Plan B in school, 252–58 
school as contributing factor to 
explosions, 245 
steps in Plan B, 101, 103, 106, 113–14 
Hubert (child), 6 
husbands 
as not doing Plan B, 154–55 
See also parents 
hyperactivity, 5, 50–52, 54, 59, 195, 231, 
235–37. See also ADHD 
hypertensive, and Mitchell, 64 
identity, 227 
ignoring, 5, 74 
imipramine (Tofranil), 236 
“implosive” children, 6 
imposing will. See Plan A 
impulsivity, 14, 28–29, 54, 231, 235–37 
inattentiveness, 5, 51, 195, 231, 234–36 
incentives. See reward/punishment 
individual differences, and Plan B in 
school, 259–62 
Individuals with Disabilities Act, 229 
inflexibility 
of babies, 13–14 
as characteristic of explosive children, 
3, 6, 8, 50–51, 63 
consequences, 78–81 
differences between other children and 
explosive children, 8 
disciplinary practices at school, 248 
individuality of child, 49 
as learning disability, 250 
onset of, 13–14 
of parents/adults, 43, 83 
reciprocal, 93, 245–46 
and social skills, 199–202 
See also cognitive flexibility skills; 
flexibility; specific child or problem 
insisting, 5, 55–56, 60, 77 
intelligence, 3, 50–51, 55, 58, 64–66 

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290 
Index 
intermittent explosive disorder, 3 
interrupting, 217 
interventions 
explanations as guiding, 14–15, 20 
matching explanations and 
interventions to needs of children, 
75–83 
invitation 
cognitive flexibility skills, 198 
considering a range of possible 
solutions, 183–86 
difficult issues, 171–72 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
133–34, 139–42 
identifying and articulating concerns, 
180 
learning curves, 133–34, 139–42, 
148–49, 171–72 
parking lot problem, 148–49 
Plan A, 107, 109 
as step in Plan B, 98, 106–22, 198 
training other skills with Plan B, 
198 
See also specific problem 
irrationality, 8, 38–39, 56, 90. See also 
rational thinking 
irritability 
as biological entity, 36 
characteristics of explosive children, 
50–51, 53–54, 58, 60, 62–64, 70 
emotion regulation skills, 35–37, 41, 
195–96 
identification of pathways, 35–37, 41 
medications, 54, 231, 234, 236–238 
training other skills with Plan B, 
195–96 
Jack (child), 8 
Jackson (child), 183 
Jen (child), 203–4 
Jennifer (child), 1–5, 7, 9, 43, 274–75 
Jeremy (child), 134–37 
Jermaine (child), 6–7 
Jimmy (child), 254–56 
Ken (child), 12 
Kyle (child), 137–39 
labels, and explanations as guiding 
interventions, 14–15 
language processing skills 
articulation of frustrations, 213 
characteristics of explosive children, 
55, 57, 65 
consequences, 79 
considering a range of possible 
solutions, 183 
identification of pathways, 24, 31–35 
identifying and articulating concerns, 
179 
misdiagnosing explosive child, 5 
Plan B in school, 267–69 
skills necessary for child to participate 
in Plan B, 183 
talking about own behavior, 52, 54 
training other skills with Plan B, 
188–94 
unevenness of skills development, 14 
vocabulary, 188–90 
learning, and standard approach to 
behavior management, 75–76 
learning curves 
defining the problem, 133–34, 137–39, 
148, 165, 170–171 
empathy, 133–37, 147, 164–166, 
169–171 
invitation, 133–34, 139–42, 148–49, 
171–72 
questions, 142–76 
lecturing, 217 
listening, 99–101, 214 
lithium carbonate, 238–239 
low-risk empathy, 101 
Luvox, 237 
lying problem, 170–72 
making amends, discussions about, 160–61 
manipulative, as explanation for behavior, 
76, 81, 144 

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Index 
291 
Marvin (child), 8 
Mazlish, Elaine, 210 
medications 
abuse of, 235 
adjustments in, 240 
antipsychotic, 36 
characteristics of explosive children, 
58–59, 64, 67–68, 70 
consequences, 74–75 
discreet approach to, 240 
distractibility, 231, 234–35 
emotion regulation skills, 36–37, 
195–96 
executive skills, 195 
explosions at home and school, 169 
extremely short fuse, 231, 238–41 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
142 
failure of CPS model, 227 
frustration tolerance, 240 
how long to take, 240–41 
hyperactivity, 54, 64, 231, 235–37 
identification of pathways, 36–37 
for impulsivity, 54, 231, 235–37 
inattention, 231, 234–36 
irritability, 54, 231, 234, 236–38 
lack of explosions in school, 244 
mood-stabilizing, 36–37, 238–39 
and obsessiveness, 231, 237 
overview about, 231–33, 273 
for parents, 220 
Plan B in school, 253, 269 
Plan C, 92 
poor responses to, 233 
residential facilities, 230 
side effects of, 232–40
as strategy for managing behavior, 5 
thinking skills, 231–32 
training other skills with Plan B, 195–96 
waffle episode, 3–4 
medicine problem, 99–100, 103, 105, 
110–12, 179–80 
meeting halfway/giving a little, as 
category of solution, 183–86 
memory, 50–52, 56 
mental health professionals 
differing theories and interpretations 
of, 75 
distrust of, 64, 66–68, 70 
failure of CPS model, 227 
Plan B in school, 251 
methylphenidate (Ritalin), 234 
Mickey (child), 37 
Miguel (child), 188 
Mike (child), 167 
mind reading, 211–13 
Mitchell (child), 64–71, 221–26 
mood stabilizers, 36–37, 238–39 
moodiness, 58–59, 62–63 
motivation 
accountability, 143 
characteristics of explosive children, 57 
children do well if they can philosophy, 
272 
consequences, 79, 81–82 
explanations for explosions, 86 
explanations as guiding interventions, 
15 
identification of pathways, 46 
social skills, 46 
standard approach to behavior 
management, 78 
use of Plan B, 159–60