A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

See also reward/punishment 
movie problem, 100, 103, 105, 112 
nagging, 93 
needs 
identification of pathways, 323–35 
identifying and articulating, 33–35 
language processing skills, 33–35 
matching explanations and 
interventions to, 75–83 
nonverbal learning disability (NLD), 5, 42 
Norpramin, 236 
nortriptyline (Pamelor), 236 
nurturing, as strategy for managing 
behavior, 5 

---

292 
Index 
obsessiveness, 5, 17, 38–41, 231, 237, 
274 
olanzapine (Zyprexa), 238 
one-upmanship, 224–26 
oppositional-defiant disorder, 3, 58, 81 
organization and planning skills, 14, 25, 
27–29, 90, 144, 167, 194–95, 253 
Oscar (child), 211–12, 215 
“over my dead body” statement, 138–39 
overgeneralization, 214–15 
own way, as explanation for behavior, 143 
Pamelor, 236 
pancake problem, 191–93 
panic attacks, 17 
parenting 
agenda for, 87 
conventional, 86 
definition of good, 88 
explanations for explosions, 86 
ineffectiveness of conventional, 21 
inept, 24, 86 
parents 
anxiety of, 215 
“backing down” by, 77, 90 
behavior of, 8, 31 
blaming themselves, 75–76 
characteristics of, of explosive 
children, 8–9 
“double standard” of, 206–8 
empowerment of, 176 
explosive child as embarrassment to, 4 
frustrations of, 18–19, 81, 175–76 
guilt feelings of, 9 
help for, 176, 210, 220 
inflexibility of, 43, 83 
medications for, 220 
Mitchell’s interactions with, 64, 67–71 
need for consensus/consistency 
between, 157, 218 
Plan B in school, 251, 254–56, 262–70 
as poor disciplinarians, 16–17 
as pushovers, 87–88 
reassurance for, 128, 215 
as scared of child, 3–4 
“splitting” of, 157 
strains on, 3–5, 20, 62 
taking behavior personally, 76 
tensions and difficulties between, 59, 
206, 218–20 
See also families; parenting 
parking lot problem, 147–49 
paroxetine (Paxil), 237 
pathways 
case studies about, 50–71 
cognitive flexibility skills, 24, 41–43 
considering a range of possible 
solutions, 183 
CPS as model for use with all children, 
275 
definition of, 47 
emotion regulation skills, 24, 35–41, 
195–96 
as excuses, 46 
executive skills, 24–31 
as explanations, 46 
explosions as means of providing 
information, 151 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
142 
identification of, 23–48, 53–54, 71, 
168, 177, 251 
importance of understanding, 46 
language processing skills, 24, 31–35 
meaning of term, 23–24 
medications, 273 
Plan A, 91 
Plan B in school, 251–53 
reward/punishment, 24 
skills necessary for child to participate 
in Plan B, 183 
as skills that need to be taught, 272 
social skills, 24, 44–47 
training other skills with Plan B, 
195–96 
See also specific child or problem 
Paxil, 237 
perfectionism, 58, 215–17 

---

Index 
293 
philosophy, and Plan B in school, 249–50 
phrases, and identifying and articulating 
concerns, 183 
Plan A 
ambiguity, 166 
approval/disapproval of explosive 
behavior, 145 
communication patterns in families, 217 
concerns, 109–10 
cotton candy problem, 125 
defining the problem, 104 
delayed responses, 163–64 
dependency, 147 
difficult issues, 172 
difficulties between parents, 219 
diminishing of importance of, 158 
disciplinary practices, 168, 247 
doing homework on register problem, 
126 
Emergency Plan B, 122–23 
explosions at school, 169 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
121, 132–135, 138 
husbands as not doing Plan B, 154–55 
invitation, 107, 109, 120 
language processing skills, 191–92 
misconceptions about, 117–19 
as option, 89–92, 272 
overview of, 90–92, 272 
Plan C, 93 
prior experience, 114, 154–55 
progress using Plan B, 158 
ranking of plans, 117–19 
real world, 146–47 
safety issues, 147–50 
in school, 169, 247, 253, 256–57, 267 
setting limits in, 109, 120, 145 
“splitting” of parents, 157 
steps in Plan B, 102, 107, 109, 120 
summary about, 120–21 
what to do during explosion, 151 
Plan B 
as approval of explosive behavior, 
145–46 
attempt to clarify, 113 
as basket, 89 
benefits of, 158 
case studies using, 122–29 
child won’t do, 155 
CPS as, 86–90 
defining the problem as step in, 98, 
104–6, 111–13, 121, 197–98 
empathy as step in, 98–103, 105–106, 
110–14, 121, 197 
expectations of progress from, 158–59 
factors interfering with successful 
execution of, 121, 132–42, 155, 205 
husbands as not doing, 154–55 
invitation as step in, 98, 106–22, 198 
lack of skills for participating in, 142, 
155 
as last resort, 132 
losing faith in, 187 
as magic, 119 
as means for learning problem-solving 
skills, 146 
misconceptions about, 117–19 
missing steps in, 133–34 
as not being very good at, 133 
not caring about concerns, 155–56 
Plan A, 102 
practicing, 121 
progress using, 177–78 
questions about, 142–76 
ranking of plans, 117–19 
reassurance, 98, 112–113, 115, 121 
in school, 249–70, 273 
setting limits, 109–10, 120 
skills necessary for child to participate 
in, 178–88 
solutions, 106–22 
steps for doing, 98–117, 196–98, 251, 
275 
summary about, 120–21 
taking a break from, 119 
as taking too long, 151 
teaching of essential skills through, 
209 

---

294 
Index 
Plan B (continued ) 
timing for, 97 
training other skills with, 188–204 
triggers, 95 
Plan C 
cotton candy problem, 125 
difficult issues, 172 
difficulties between parents, 219 
doing homework on register problem, 
126 
Emergency Plan B, 123 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
133, 138 
husbands as not doing Plan B, 155 
language processing skills, 192–193 
medications, 238 
misconceptions about, 117–19 
overview of, 89–90, 92–95, 120–21 
Plan A, 93 
progress using Plan B, 158 
ranking of plans, 117–19 
reducing of tensions by using, 177 
in school, 253 
“splitting” of parents, 157 
what to do during explosion, 151 
Plans 
CPS as model for use with all children, 
275 
delaying decisions about which plan to 
use, 152–54 
misconceptions about, 117–19 
questions about, 142–76 
as ranking system, 118–19 
summary about, 120–21 
which ones to use on spur of the 
moment, 152–54