A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

See also specific problem 
delayed response, 152–54, 163–64, 195, 
268 
Depakote, 238–39 
dependency, and Plan A, 147 
depression, 5, 8, 36, 58, 65 
Derrick (child), 191–93 
desipramine (Norpramin), 236 
developmental age, 167–68 
dextroamphetamine sulfate (Dexedrine), 
234 

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286 
Index 
diagnosis, of explosive children, 5–6, 17, 
55, 58, 65 
difficult issues, handling of, 169–75 
disagreements, working out, and 
unevenness of skills 
development, 12–13 
discipline 
characteristics of explosive children, 
60, 62 
consequences, 81 
differences between other children and 
explosive children, 9 
explosions as learned, 76 
identification of factors compromising 
skills of flexibility and frustration 
tolerance, 24 
in school, 247–49, 251, 266–69 
need for different approaches to, 9 
parents as poor disciplinarians, 16–17 
standard approach to behavior 
management, 75–78 
understanding explosive children, 
16–17 
using different types of, 168 
“disconfirming” old thoughts, 202 
distractibility, 231, 234–35 
doctors, 232–33, 240 
doing it a different way, as category of 
solution, 183–86 
dwelling on past, 217 
dyskinesia, 238 
eczema, 18 
Eduardo (child), 93–95 
educated guesses, 100 
embarrassment factor, 169, 244 
Emergency Plan B, 97, 99–103, 114–17, 
121–29, 132, 152, 256–58, 265, 273 
emotion regulation skills, 12, 14, 
53–54, 64, 195–96, 236 
and identification of pathways, 24, 32, 
35–41 
See also separation of affect 
emotional illiteracy, 46 
Emotional Intelligence (Goleman), 19–20 
emotions 
categorizing and expressing, 32 
labeling, 194 
language processing skills, 32 
of siblings, 206–10 
vocabulary of, 190 
See also emotion regulation skills 
empathy 
ambiguity, 166 
black-and-white thinking, 101 
cognitive flexibility skills, 197 
concerns, 99–101 
delayed responses, 164 
difficult issues, 169–71 
factors that cause Plan B to go astray, 
133–37 
how to empathize, 99–100 
identifying and articulating concerns, 
179–80 
importance of, 98–99, 134 
learning curves, 133–37, 147, 164–66, 
169–71 
low-risk, 101, 123 
parking lot problem, 147 
Plan B in school, 254–55 
refined, 100–103, 106, 113, 165 
reflective listening, 99–101 
siblings, 208 
as step in Plan B, 98–103, 105–6, 
110–14, 121, 197 
training other skills with Plan B, 197 
See also reassurance; specific problem 
empowerment, of parents, 176 
Eric (child), 216–17 
executive skills, 24–31, 53–54, 187, 
194–95. See also organization and 
planning skills; separation of affect; 
shifting cognitive set 
expectations 
characteristics of explosive children, 
64–66, 70 
communication patterns in families, 
216–17 

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Index 
287 
consequences, 75–78, 82 
considering range of solutions, 186 
defining the problem, 104–6 
description of Plan B, 272–73 
dropping of (Plan C), 90, 92–95, 
117–18, 120, 272 
imposing own (Plan A), 272 
misconceptions about Plans, 117–18 
need for consensus between parents, 
218 
options for helping child meet, 272 
options for problem solving, 89–90, 
118–21, 272–73 
Plan B in school, 259–60 
of progress using Plan B, 158–59 
ranking of Plans, 118–19 
siblings, 206, 208 
skills necessary for child to participate 
in Plan B, 186 
standard approach to behavior 
management, 75–78 
for teachers, 246–47 
unrealistic, 177, 216–17