Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families

PART V 
RECOVERING: WHAT DO I DO NOW?
The man of true greatness never loses his child's heart. 
Mencius: Discourses, IV, Circa 300 B.C,

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Page 169
17 
Uncovering and Admitting
We remember the days before Kenneth Cooper developed his well-
known point system for figuring out how much aerobic exercise we
get for jogging, swimming and what not (Cooper, 1970). It was
great. We could go out on a cool Sunday afternoon in the autumn,
run around the block a few times until we worked up a sweat and
felt winded, and then return to the comfort of our cozy homes
assured that we were doing our bodies wonders by our Herculean
efforts. We even bragged about it the next day at work.
"Boy, I feel great! Ran a couple of miles yesterday!" Our
colleagues would shake their heads in wonder and chalk it up to
second childhood or the onset of early senescence.
But in his sincere and well intentioned way, Kenneth Cooper
changed all that. All of a sudden there was an easy-to-understand,
foolproof way to determine how much cardiovascular benefit we
were really getting from those jogs around the block. A certain
number of points for running a mile in eight minutes, and a certain
number of points needed each week to maintain good
cardiovascular fitness. No ifs, ands or buts.
In confidence, we got in our cars and measured how far we'd been

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Page 170
running. Surprise! "Nine tenths of a mile?" we cried in disbelief.
"Hell, there must be something wrong with this damned odometer.
I'll measure it with the other car." Nine-tenths of a mile it is. ''Okay.
I'm game. I'll measure out one honest mile and then I'll time
myself. I just know I'm in good shape!"
The next day we ran that mile, pushing as hard as we could.
Exhausted and on the verge of cardiac arrest, we looked pleadingly
at our spouse, stopwatch in hand.
"Well, how'd I do?" we asked.
"Not bad for someone in middle age," came the reply. "Eight-and-
a-half minutes."
Eight-and-a-half minutes? And I have to do this how many days a
week to maintain cardiovascular fitness? Baloney! Cooper must
have figured his tables wrong.
Kenneth Cooper hadn't figured his tables wrong. True, he has
adjusted and refined them over the years, but his basic system is
not only still intact, but it started and has maintained one of the
truly healthy revolutions in America. By breaking our denial
system about how much exercise we were really getting, and by
introducing a healthy, gradual, sane approach to working up to a
regular aerobic exercise program, Kenneth Cooper led literally
millions of flabby, short-winded Americans out of the dark ages
and into physical fitness.
Yes, it also led many Americans to early heart attack and death;
and others into a running addiction that has left them with shin
splints, funny-looking disfigured feet and marital breakups, to

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name a few. We are not skirting the issue of running addictions
here just because we are using Cooper's system as an example.
Every new technology or system or scientific discovery is open to
abuse by human beings. That is as true of the information that we
offer you in this book as it is of any other information or machine.
In fact, the inability to use new information or technology in
healthy ways is a key symptom of the dysfunction in us. Our point is
that there is a first step that we must take if we are to begin our
recovery as Adult Children. We call this step uncovering and
admitting.