B a r b a r a s h e r I l L u s t r a t I o n s b y r a L p h

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Attention Games
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“That no matter how full your life seems, there is always room for
more,” a student ventured.
“Completely the opposite,” the professor explained. “The rocks are the
important things in life, such as your health, family, friends, work, spiritu-
ality, and community. If I had filled the vase with the other things—the
water, the pebbles, and the sand—then the vase would have been full and
there would be no room for the rocks.”
The lesson: don’t fill up your life with other things until you have made
a space for what matters most.
T
Y P E S O F
A
T T E N T I O N
E
N C O U R A G E D
Open and focused
M
A T E R I A L S
Paper and pen
D
I R E C T I O N S
To be sure you and your teen have your “rocks” in
place, each of you makes a separate list of what mat-
ters most to you. Then, under each of these head-
ings, list the things you do that give time and attention
to each priority.
If either of you finds that your attention list is
more paltry than you would like, list the kinds of
things that you could do to enlarge your attention
to each heading item.
Here are some examples:
⽧ Priority: My little sister
What we do now: eat dinner together, some-
times read her stories before bed, watch tele-
vision, take a two-week vacation together
with the family to visit Grandma.
Games for Teens
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Want to add: walk to the park together more often, play catch, make
dates to go ice skating in winter and canoeing on the local lake in
summer. Sometimes plan a special date when just the two of us
cook dinner for the family or make a special dessert.
⽧ Priority: Exercise
What I do now: go to required weekly gym class at school. Walk in the
mall with friends.
Want to add: do a Wednesday evening walk with my mom for a half
hour, explore and join a fun movement class with my best friend
(circuit training to music, tango lesson, yoga for teens, or whatever
sounds doable for us)