B a r b a r a s h e r I l L u s t r a t I o n s b y r a L p h

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Attention Games
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Suggest that you and your adolescent spend a few spare minutes a day,
whether sitting on a meditation cushion or waiting for a stoplight to
change, sending good thoughts to a stranger in Bulgaria. I chose Bulgaria
because I don’t know anything about it. I have no preconceived ideas about
the politics there or the state of the economy. All I know is that it’s very far
from where I am and that there is a person there who would benefit from
more joy in his or her life. Pick any country you want; there is always some-
one somewhere who can use a little more joy.
When thinking about that person—and make it the same person each
time—imagine that he or she is suddenly feeling happy for no particular
reason, simply because he or she was sent a dose of joy from you. Wish for
a brighter smile, a lilt in the walk, and a sense of well-being. Imagine that
person suddenly stopping and noticed something beautiful—a cloud, a
passing butterfly, the graceful form of a tree branch. Imagine this person
suddenly filled with an appreciation for life just as it is right now.
Have your child try to imagine details about the person he’s chosen. In
my imagination, I have picked a farmer. He’s of medium height, a little on
the skinny side, and graying at his temples. I enjoy sending him little bits of
happiness and get pleasure from imagining him surprised by this sudden
good feeling inside him. This feeling makes him go kiss his wife, who later
happily hums while making yummy biscuits with their children.
Your teen may be surprised at how good it feels to send joy to a com-
plete stranger.
Who knows? Maybe someday I’ll actually go to Bulgaria and meet a
farmer who finds himself feeling oddly grateful to me but can’t imagine
why.