Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework
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Beauty and the Beast ( PDFDrive )
containment as she seems to distrust the
counsellor by imagining that not having a session is a test to see if she will return for counselling. 110 Line Words from whole journal Analysis This entry demonstrates how the participant appears to battle with the containment of her feelings about herself and her counsellor. Perhaps an unrecognized self is „demanding‟ that she listens to herself for the journal seems to enable her to contain all these feelings by writing them out. In the following entry of the journal she realizes that she is perhaps trying to do too much too quickly and has a sense of needing to care for herself by putting herself first. Fighting containment-freedom in the above entry seemed to allow her to shift towards containing her own feelings so that „selfish‟ turns into caring for herself appropriately. This highlights how the whole journal narrative adds to the overall story. Taken on its own the entry above demonstrates part of the participant‟s process, the other entries add to this and create a story of process. 8. I suppose I’m selfish and 9. it’s “I want” still! 10. Family still demanding 11. thought I’d learnt 12. to say “no” – wrong! 13. I feel used again by 14. them all why can’t I 15. get this right! Everything 16. with me takes so long 17. Why! She appears to recognize her need in this (line1) but sees this as selfish as if she fights even allowing herself these feelings about the counsellor, as if she fights the freedom of her own feelings. Her demanding family (line10) may represent the demanding counsellor who gets to choose when to have a break. This leaves the client feeling used (line 13), so perhaps she feels used by the counsellor. Its as if she cannot really voice “no” (line 12) its not fair - to the counsellor, as she can‟t with her family. She again seems to fight herself as she sees herself taking too long to do this counselling and perhaps thinks the counsellor takes too much time off. 111 4.3.4. Desire for containment-freedom One of the first similarities noticed in the narratives was that the participants all used words that showed that they felt safe with their counsellor, cared for, loved, or that they felt these feelings towards her. It seems they want the strength of the integrated Beauty and Beast that they sense she possesses. In the following table is a selection of the words used in the journals that allude to these feelings of love and safety: Table iv. To show words that suggest feeling safe, cared for or loved. Held Contained Heard Supported Secure Warmth Cared for Acknowledged Accepted Trust Grounded Respect Close Thankful Understood Safe Loved Encouraged Finding this need to feel safe and heard so often in the journals created the category „desire for containment‟. These feelings of safety seem to reflect the safety I felt in already having a secure base in which to take trauma. The words the participants used seem to demonstrate the desire to feel the above states and also describe how they felt towards the counsellor. It seemed that what they felt for her was also what they desired most to feel about themselves. There was a need to look for words that suggested a „desire for freedom‟ in order to see if the polarity to the desire for containment existed. This desire for freedom felt that it needed to be described by opposing emotions so that a polarity was felt. Words that helped to complete this category were: 112 Table v. To show words that suggest feeling unsafe, uncared for and unloved. Lost Insecure Disappointed Unleashed Escaping Felt obliged Exposed Irritated Weary Vulnerable Annoyed Needy Unsafe Frustrated Hate Whereas the words for the „desire for containment‟ hold positive aspects of the clients‟ feelings about what they feel for the counsellor, this other half of the category has more negative (Beastly) words that express again how the participants feels about themselves, and/or how they feel towards the counsellor, or how they feel the counsellor feels towards them. Extract 5. Journal entry to show the category desire for containment-freedom Line Words from the journal Analysis 1. I fight hard against 2. Perceived injustice 3. Because 4. I don’t want others 5. To suffer it 6. Like I did 7. We should all be loved 8. Just for being 9. Not for what we do. A strong sense of a desire for freedom to fight against the injustice of her past. Lines 1-2 She appears to fight for freedom so others not to suffer as she did. Perhaps she also fights for the containment of her own suffering. Lines 3-5 What she appears to desire is the Download 1.47 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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