John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

included to help you express your feelings. You may use just a few of these phrases or all of 
them. Generally the most releasing expressions are: I am angry," "I am sad," I am afraid," "I am 
sorry," "I want," and "I love." However, any phrases that assist you in expressing your feelings 
will work. It usually takes about twenty minutes to complete a Love Letter. 

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126 
A Love Letter 
 
Dear
 
 
 
 
 
 
Date 
 
I am writing this letter to share my feelings with you. 
 
1. For Anger 
 I don't like it... 
I feel frustrated... 
I am angry that... 
I feel annoyed... 
I want... 
 
2. For Sadness 
I feel disappointed... 
I am sad that... 
I feel hurt... 
I wanted... 
I want... 
 
3. For Fear 
I worried... 
I am afraid... 
I feel scared... 
I do not want... 
I need... 
I want... 
 
4. For Regret 
I feel embarrassed... 
I am sorry... 
I feel ashamed... 
I didn't want... 
I want... 
 
5. For Love 
I love 
I want... 
I understand ... 
I forgive... 
I appreciate ... 
I thank you for... 
I know... 
 
P.S. The response I would like to hear from you: 
Here are some typical situations and some sample Love Letters that will help you understand 
the technique. 
 
A Love Letter About Forgetfulness 
 

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127 
When Tom napped longer than he'd planned and forgot to take his daughter Hayley to the 
dentist, his wife, Samantha, was furious. Instead of confronting Tom with her anger and 
disapproval, however, she sat down and wrote the following Love Letter. Afterward she was 
able to approach Tom in a more centered and accepting way. 
 
Because she wrote this letter, Samantha did not feel an urge to lecture or reject her husband. 
Instead of having an argument they enjoyed a loving evening. The next week Tom made sure 
Hayley got to the dentist. 
This is Samantha's Love Letter: 
 
 
Dear Tom, 
 
1. Anger.. I am furious that you forgot. I am angry that you overslept. I hate it when you take 
naps and forget everything. I am tired of feeling responsible for everything. You expect me to 
do everything. I am tired of this. 
 
2. Sad.. I am sad that Hayley missed ber appointment. I am sad that you forgot. I am sad 
because I feel like I can't rely on you. I am sad that you have to work so hard. I am sad that you 
are so tired. I am sad that you have less time for me. I feel hurt when you are not excited to see 
me. I feel hurt when you forget things. I feel like you don't care. 
 
3. Fear.. I am afraid I have to do everything. I am afraid to trust you. I am afraid that you don't 
care. I am afraid I will have to be responsible next time. I don't want to do everything. I need 
your help. I am afraid to need you. I am afraid you will never be responsible. I am afraid you